


Rejection

by Amora0819



Series: HeartBreak [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ambigious Ending in the First Part, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Auror Draco Malfoy, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Partners, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending (In Second Part), M/M, Major Illness, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Terminal Illnesses, Veela Draco Malfoy, Veela Mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:54:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 33,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26479813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amora0819/pseuds/Amora0819
Summary: After the war, everyone assumed they knew everything about Draco Malfoy, but that wasn't true. They didn't know that he had no idea what had been happening for two years when he suddenly woke up to his father and aunt demanding that he identify Harry Potter at the manor. They also didn't know that he was rendered a complete sociopath by a rare disease called 'Heartbreak', which only occurs if a Veela is rejected by their mate before they fully develop at age 16, like at age 11 for example.They don't know any of that until Healer Davidson stands up in court and declares that the Malfoy heir should be released by reason of insanity (or lack of any human emotions). Now, they all know, and they all make fun of him, except for one green-eyed Auror, the only one in the world who can make Draco Malfoy finally feel.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley/Original Male Character(s), Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Series: HeartBreak [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2032060
Comments: 215
Kudos: 625





	1. My Mate...

**Author's Note:**

> Harry's thoughts are in bold italics and Draco's are in italics.

Draco Malfoy knew he shouldn’t blame himself for what happened, not really. It wasn’t his fault his soul had been completely depleted at the time, which led him to follow commands like a bloody robot and be unable to  **think** . But he still did. How could he not when his participation in the war was probably the final straw. He had driven his mate away entirely and could never get him back. 

So, he lived. One day after another, all of them virtually the same. He woke up, went to work, tried (and failed) to get his morning latte, handed in reports, then went home and laid awake at night. He was never tired the next morning, though. He was never...anything really. Draco only felt what he did right before his blackout in the war: absolutely nothing. He knew when he needed to do something, but never felt satisfaction or relief when it was done or anxiety when it wasn’t. He also knew when he wanted something, like his coffee, but he wasn’t upset when he didn’t get it. 

The only time Draco felt something was during those trips to the coffee cart in the lobby of the Aurors’ work building. He was always kept at the back of the line no matter how many people arrived after him. When, sometimes an hour later, he arrived at the window, Karl the coffee guy sneered down at him and kept making up excuses why he couldn’t have his latte. 

‘Sorry, Malfoy. The machine ain’t working anymore.’ 

‘No Lattes today. We just ran out of coffee beans.’ 

‘Milk went bad last night. If you want a Turkish with no sugar, I am happy to oblige.’ 

Malfoy, unable to detect lies or sarcasm, was too busy believing whatever bullshit excuse Karl came up with to notice that Harry Potter always watched the scene from a distance, his own coffee in hand, with pity and sadness in his eyes. 

So, on the seventh day in a row when Draco came back expecting Karl to actually serve him, the blonde didn’t understand why everyone was snickering as he was handed the latte. 

_ Must be some joke they didn’t share with me… _

Of course, that’s when Harry decided to make an appearance, having seen Karl cast a strange charm on the blonde’s coffee. He ‘accidentally’ bumped into Malfoy, sending the cup splattering onto the ground so he would never be subject to whatever that charm was meant to do. 

“Hey, watch where you’re -” Draco started, only to be silenced by a strange feeling that could only be characterized as a longing. 

_ It’s my mate  _

_ My mate who doesn’t want me  _

_ My mate who I can never have  _

“Sorry, Malfoy. You know how clumsy I am.” Harry said in a hurry, not wanting to tell Draco the true reason behind the brunette’s strange actions. 

**_He doesn’t know_ **

**_How can he not recognize that he gets death glares whenever he goes?_ **

**_Does he not feel the hexes that are sent his way literally all the time?_ **

**_How can I tell him that everyone hates him?_ **

**_How can I possibly tell him that?_ **

**_Even Malfoy doesn’t deserve what they’re doing to him._ **

Harry felt sorry for the blonde and had a strong urge to protect him against the entire world. The brunette had been shown violence and hatred on countless occasions. He knew how it felt and it hurt him to witness it being done to others, especially someone he has known since he was eleven. Sure, Draco had made some bad choices, but if that healer’s testimony was true, the blonde didn’t have control over any of it. And, judging by how oblivious Malfoy was to everyone else’s clear and blatant reactions to him, the healer was right. Draco Malfoy was, indeed, a sociopath. But they shouldn't be making fun of him. Even if he doesn't know it. It's not right. He deserves better. It's not like he can control it! 

Draco couldn’t answer him. He couldn’t do anything but stand there, beside a puddle of hot coffee, and gape at his soulmate, the one that broke him. He suddenly felt a strong wave of devastation clawing inside of him. He almost bent over due to the pain. 

_ Stop!  _

_ I need this to stop!  _

But he couldn’t leave his mate, who was asking him about his day and rambling on about Auror assignments. He couldn’t fathom the thought of being anywhere but beside him. He wanted to be beside Harry forever. He briefly wondered how he could’ve let the past decade go by without seeking his beautiful mate out. 

_ A decade  _

_ That’s how long my mate has known me  _

_ It only took one second for him to reject me  _

_ To decide I wasn’t worth his time  _

_ And he never sought me out again  _

_ Why? _

_ Does he find me that awful?!  _

_ Am I that bad of a veela?  _

“Malfoy? Did you hear what I said?” he heard his mate say through his thoughts. 

“Sorry, Harry. I didn’t.” he said instantly, kicking himself mentally for not paying attention. His mate shouldn’t have to repeat himself. His mate was so kind and generous for even taking the time to talk to Draco in the first place. 

Harry looked taken aback by the use of his first name, but quickly shook his head and  **smiled** . He actually smiled at Draco! The blonde never wanted that smile gone again. 

“That’s alright. Well, I suppose that’s my fault. Can’t focus without your coffee, yeah?” he asked, then chuckled nervously at his own joke. Draco’s insides warmed. He had never felt that way before. The blonde was actually... happy for the first time in his life. He felt joy and he never wanted it to go away, never wanted Harry to go away. 

“Anyway, I was asking if you were happy where you are. I mean, it can’t be nice to have to proofread and submit case and field reports for  **all** the Aurors who don’t have partners. Wouldn’t you be happier if you had one, a partner that is?” 

The brunette was nervous. Draco thought his mate was adorable. He almost didn’t even answer the question, too mesmerized by  _ Harry _ . Then, a weird inner voice scolded him for not being a good veela. 

_ Think. Think.  _

_ How do you feel about this?  _

_ Answer your mate!  _

_ Make him happy!  _

“I am usually indifferent.” he murmured and watched as a slight sparkle made itself known in Harry’s green eyes. 

“Usually?” the brunette asked a little breathlessly, presumably waiting for an explanation. 

The blonde dug deeper, determined to give his mate whatever he asks for. Draco was surprised when he found himself actually having an opinion on the workload, after all. 

“Now that I think about it, it  **is** a bit unfair that case Aurors with partners get paid as much as I do yet do a lot less work. Perhaps it  **would** be better with a partner,” he said, gauging his mate’s reaction to see if this was what he wanted to hear. It seemed he had said the right thing, though, because Harry smiled even more, then quickly bid the blonde goodbye and raced off. 

Draco watched as the brunette left, feeling every inch of distance between them cut open his heart, causing him to bleed out. Suddenly, his emotions were yanked away from him, following his mate into the elevator, leaving him behind entirely. He blinked twice, then silently went back to Karl’s window, wondering why his co-workers were still snickering. 


	2. Partners Now

Harry hung around the coffee cart more and more after the first time Karl tried to prank/poison Draco. The blonde still seemed oblivious to what was happening around him and Harry still couldn’t find it within himself to tell him what was happening. But he also couldn’t do nothing anymore, not after he saw Draco smile during their last interaction. The blonde wasn’t emotionally brain-dead like Harry had originally thought. The conversation was a bit awkward, but that’s probably only because the blonde wasn’t used to talking to anyone. 

Harry would fix that. He needed a case partner anyway. He and Ron were both field Aurors, and, thus, couldn’t be partners. Draco could come in handy and, who knows, perhaps Harry could help the blonde as well or at least keep him away from the bully pen that was the rest of the team. He couldn’t keep knocking into Draco accidentally, on purpose, forever. Though it was odd that Draco didn’t question the ‘accidentally’ part when the event had happened so many times. Another reason Harry wanted to help: he felt guilty. The blonde had an illness and Harry had treated him so terribly and judged him during their school years. He was no better than Dudley. He needed to make it up to Draco. 

At the start of the second week, Harry was surprised to find that Draco was nowhere in sight when he arrived at the cart. He jumped when someone tapped his shoulder but exhaled in relief when he found the person to be Draco, who was smiling slightly and looked nervous as he practically threw a cup of Turkish coffee at Harry. 

“I-I made a note last time because my emotions don’t really work well, you know? I've wanted to give you this for a while but I forget when we're apart and I never get around to it. You bump into me all the time and I figured if you’re that clumsy, you always drop your coffee as well, so I charmed this one never to fall. Not- not that I am insulting you or anything. I just thought- well, here." 

The blonde looked so uncertain, so nervous. He had never seen Draco like that. He had especially never seen him beam and his cheeks blush as he did when he took the cup from the blonde. It was a beautiful sight. Harry regretted his past actions even more than he ever did at that moment. 

Then he noticed all the Aurors shaking their heads at him frantically mouthing 'don't drink that' and instantly knew he couldn't accept the blonde's gift. He smiled at Draco nonetheless. 

"This is so nice of you, but I don't feel like coffee right now. I appreciate the gesture, though." Harry said, placing the cup to the side, afraid that if he hands it back to the blonde, Draco might drink it himself. 

He instantly frowned when he saw the blonde's reaction. Draco looked…devastated, like Harry had just cursed him into oblivion. Harry watched, mortified, as Draco silently looked at the floor and shook his head slowly as if scolding himself. 

"Sorry. I-I don't know what I was thinking. I'll see you around." the blonde murmured miserably, his voice shaking, then turned to leave. 

"No!" Harry all but yelled, startling the blonde, who turned back to him. "I-I didn't mean it like that. It was a lovely gift, I swear. It's just-" 

**_They're trying to poison you._ **

**_Neither of us can drink this_ **

**_Please don't be sad…_ **

Harry was confused. Perhaps any other person would feel offended if he had rejected their gift, but the brunette had thought Draco literally couldn’t. It appeared Draco’s condition was more complicated than what he had expected.

"It's alright, Harry." Draco mumbled, his arms wrapped tightly around his middle as his body shook a bit with pain, "I understand. You don't want my gift." 

Harry groaned loudly as the blonde walked quickly back to the elevators and didn't even look at the brunette as he pressed the button to his department's floor.

Harry went back to his floor and arrived at his office to find a letter of approval for Draco's transfer. He smiled widely and raced down to the lobby again. He could fix this. He glared at Karl as the man handed him a non-poison latte and went back upstairs to see that his office had magically expanded and that the blonde was already at his own desk awaiting instructions. 

Draco didn't look up when he entered, assuming a rather submissive position in the corner of the office, staring down at his desk. 

"Thank you for agreeing, Draco. I am really glad you're here." he said loudly, then put the cup in the spot where Draco was staring "Here’s your welcome present." 

Draco looked up at him in awe but didn't make a move to take the cup. 

"Is everything alright? It's a latte." Harry asked, then chewed his lip, worrying he had done something wrong again. 

"It's stupid." the blonde murmured and Harry somehow just understood. 

"Draco, to be honest, I've been bumping into you on purpose. I-I wanted us to chat and my ridiculous brain couldn't come up with a better excuse for us to do that. I never go to the coffee cart. I don't even like coffee. That’s why I didn’t drink the one you got me. It had nothing to do with it being from you or something." 

**(Line)**

The blonde’s heart was threatening to beat out of his chest. 

_ He wanted to speak to me?  _

_ Me?  _

_ My mate wanted to be around  _ **_me_ ** _?  _

_ He’s happy to have me working with him?  _

_ He - he got me a present?  _

Draco stared at the cup right in front of him. It was the first gift he had ever received, and it was from his mate! Suddenly, a wild and happy crooning sound threatened to escape from his throat, but the blonde clamped his mouth shut, reminding his stupid, emotional, creature self that the latte wasn’t a courting gift, that his mate wasn’t taking his rejection back. He didn’t want Draco; he never would and Draco wouldn’t force himself on his wonderful mate by telling him that the blonde is a veela in need of constant reassurance. 

Harry shouldn’t be chained to the blonde forever. Draco also knew that he would die on the spot if he told Harry the truth and the brunette rejected him again. Draco was already half-dead. He was indifferent to the thought of death before. It wouldn’t have mattered one way or another if he was around or not. But he couldn’t risk it, couldn’t risk Harry saying no. He simply couldn’t die, not when his life was showing so much promise now! He would get to see his beautiful mate on a daily basis and that was definitely worth living for. 

Suddenly, the blonde felt an unfamiliar stinging sensation behind his eyes. He could vaguely remember feeling it when he was five and fell off a practice broom, breaking his leg. He was going to cry. It was inevitable. He looked up at his mate, who suddenly looked frantic and started stammering apologies and saying that Draco could go back to his department if he didn't want to stay here. 

The tears escaped as his thoughts started scolding him. 

_ You're making your mate upset!  _

_ Stop it this instant!  _

He merely turned his back to Harry, though it pained him to do it, so his mate wouldn’t see the tears. He instantly understood his condition better than he ever had. Of course, his body would expel his emotions entirely during his younger years. It would have been cruel not to do so, to force Draco to feel this kind of pain whenever he saw Harry in school, to be around his mate and know that he would never have him, that Harry would never want Draco. This was a different kind of torture. 

He wanted all these bloody feelings gone. He wanted to go back to the way it was before he turned 16 when being around Harry was just a nuisance, not a stabbing, unrelenting pain. He wished he could curse the brunette and make fun of him and make him go away. He wanted to stop crying instantly and take Harry up on his offer to go back to his own department and never see the brunette again. But he couldn’t stop the tears, couldn’t pronounce the words, even. How could he leave right now when he was given an opportunity to be beside his mate all day long? He couldn’t possibly do that. 

“I-it’s just allergies.” he whispered shakingly, risking a glance back at his mate who was cocking his head in confusion, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Alright, I think Ron has some potions for that. I’ll be right back.” Harry said then quickly sprinted across the hall to retrieve the potion. Draco blinked, then smiled widely. At least his mate wasn’t on to him. Harry still thought that Draco was a sociopath and the blonde would need to keep it that way or risk complete rejection and death…


	3. A Thoughtless Statement

Harry had a faint idea of how work-life would be with Draco Malfoy as his partner. He would arrive in the morning to find the blonde already at his desk and glaring at Harry, pointing at the clock to show the brunette how late he arrived. Then, the blonde would ask what Harry needed from him that day and groan when the brunette stammered something about it being too early to talk about cases, putting his head down on his own desk. 

When he eventually would get the energy to do actual work, it would be the most to-the-point and boring discussions of cases he would do, since Draco, as far as the brunette knew, was immune to jokes, interesting encounters, fear, or any other emotion that people normally demonstrated when Harry told them about his cases. Harry would take two lunch breaks as opposed to Draco’s one coffeeless coffee break, but would ignore the blonde pointing out that what Harry was doing was breaking the rules and would delay both of their tasks for the day. Then, at the end of the day, Harry would get tired and go home, hating to leave the rest of the work to Draco, but not having any other choice since the blonde insisted on staying to finish. 

The brunette wouldn’t care about any of it at the end of the day. As long as Draco did his work and didn’t get distracted by the fact that he was working with Harry Potter, as the brunette’s last three partners did, the day would be tolerable. It would be just that: tolerable. 

Harry was  **way** off. 

For the first week, the blonde would show up right after Harry with breakfast for the brunette and wouldn’t bring up work until Harry had finished eating and declared he had enough energy to start discussing the latest case. The talking, itself, was actually entertaining and Draco laughed with his whole body and went pale at points of the description when the field adventures were too dangerous. 

“B-but the other Aurors back you u-up, right? It’s not like they would send Harry Potter out to get killed.” the blonde asked breathlessly. If the brunette didn’t know any better, he’d say Draco was actually worried about him. He didn’t have to think about it too long. The blonde dropped the subject within the day, even though he kept bugging Harry throughout breakfast. 

“If it’s so dangerous, why don’t you switch to reporting? I know you don’t necessarily like working in documentation but-” 

“No.” Harry said firmly. He didn’t want to insult the blonde by making fun of case report Aurors, but their jobs are so boring, the brunette didn’t think he’d survive a day without quitting the Aurors entirely.

“But-” 

“I definitely  **don’t** want to do that.” 

“What if-”

“Under no circumstances would I ever consider switching.” 

“Think about the positive side, Harry.” 

Harry startled at that. Draco’s voice was actually soft and filled with concern. 

**_Is he being...nice?_ **

**_Does he even know what that is?_ **

**_I should really research his illness better_ **

**_Or I could trick Hermione into doing it somehow…_ **

“I suppose it would’ve been better had Ron been my partner.” Harry murmured, then looked up when he heard a gasp. The blonde was clutching at his shirt as if he couldn’t breathe, his eyes looked frantic, and he ran out of the room like there was a loose wild animal inside. Harry blinked, completely confused. Had Draco been silent after the brunette’s statement, Harry would’ve just assumed he was somehow hurt by it. But the blonde’s dramatic reaction wasn’t at all fitting the situation. And, either way, Draco shouldn’t have even been offended by Harry’s statement. Even if he wasn’t a sociopath, well-

**_Did he really expect me to say I would rather have him as a partner than my best mate?_ **

**_If so, he really is insane…_ **

The blonde came back hours later, having finished all the case reports elsewhere. He placed them gently on Harry’s desk, not looking at the brunette, then went to pick up his bag, feeling around the room as if he were blind, and left the office. 

Harry watched the scene, more confused than he had ever been in his entire life. He couldn’t shrug off the guilt he was feeling, so he went off to Ron’s office to hang out for a bit, finding him and Hermione having a quick lunch date inside. 

“Oh, sorry guys. I’ll just come back later.” he said quickly, rubbing the back of his head. He was halfway through closing the door when they both called out to him, saying it was alright and that he should come back inside. He smiled, loving how inclusive his friends still were even though they’ve been dating for three years and he has been single for the two decades he’s been alive. He pulled out a chair and took one of Hermione’s sandwiches, scarfing it down quickly. 

“No Malfoy breakfast today?” Ron asked, chuckling as Harry scarfed down two more of those impossibly small sandwiches. Harry shook his head. 

“He brought it in. I just didn’t eat any of it, too busy convincing him that not all field Aurors wind up dead and that just because some of them do, doesn’t mean I should request a change into the bloody reports department.” 

Hermione’s eyebrows shot up at the conversation. 

“Why would Malfoy get you breakfast at all? Was it his turn in some kind of agreement or did he lose a bet?” she asked, her voice giving away that she was a little worried. Harry couldn’t understand why for the life of him. Contrary to what everyone believed, Malfoy was very harmless. 

“I really don’t know. Our first day as partners, I was too tired to start on the case during the morning. After that, he just kept showing up with food every day, not that I am complaining. It’s a nice change from take-out.” 

“Wait” Hermione said suddenly in a panicked voice, “he makes you home-made food and you just- just eat it? Harry, you need to be more careful.”

Harry cocked his head to the side, not at all understanding what the problem was. Ron was the one who broke the silence. 

“Yeah, mate. If you don’t watch out, he might make everything too spicy!” he said with a low, dangerous tone, then burst out laughing, “Honestly, Hermione. What’s gotten into you? You heard the judge, Malfoy doesn’t feel anything, meaning he doesn’t have any bad intentions, so he wouldn’t harm Harry.” 

Harry watched as they both fought over the topic, hissing arguments at each other, and speaking about Harry as if he was elsewhere. He didn’t care, though. They did that a lot. He was just glad they still let him hang around on their dates. 

“Ronald, that isn’t what the healer said and this isn’t funny.” 

“Isn’t funny?! Listen to yourself. Honestly, Mione, they’ve been partners for two weeks. If he wanted to poison Harry he would’ve done it by now.” 

“We don’t know that’s what he wants, Ronald. We don’t know anything about him or how he thinks. I’ve read up on sociopathy during my two years of healer training and I haven’t found a single book that says something positive about them.”

Hermione turned to Harry quickly then said “I understand that you feel bad about how you treated him, Harry, but is clearing your conscience of actions you did while misinformed really worth putting yourself at risk and being around him?” 

Harry scratched the bad of his head. He hadn’t really thought the whole thing through and had yet to earn the blonde’s forgiveness. It seemed Draco didn’t even hold a single grudge against Harry and had forgotten entirely that they were rivals. The blonde didn’t bring it up and Harry didn’t want to, so he didn’t have a chance to apologize in the two weeks since they started working together. They remained partners simply because Harry enjoyed working with Draco and had become very comfortable with their routine. He wouldn’t tell his best mates that, though. They’d think he was daft. 

“He’s not that bad, honestly.” he said, then added as an afterthought, “he’s just very...odd.” 

“Odd?” Hermione asked immediately, “how exactly?” 

“Well…” Harry started, not exactly sure how to describe what he had been seeing for the past two weeks, “Being a sociopath means you don’t have emotions, right? And gift-giving is something people do to make each other feel good, right?” 

Hermione nodded. 

“Before we became partners, he got me a coffee and now he is making me breakfast. But that’s not even the oddest part. He seems, well, down? Whenever I don’t accept his gifts. And - and just now I said something about preferring Ron as a partner and he just ran out and finished his work elsewhere then left for the day-” 

“Well, yeah, Harry. What did you expect? Even if he’s aware that you don’t like having him around, it was low of you to say it out loud.” Ron murmured. 

“It wasn’t like that! It was just something that came up, and shouldn’t he be immune to insults or something? The entire building hates him and makes fun of him openly. It’s just off that he only really  **reacts** around me.” Harry continued, exasperated. 

“That’s easy.” Hermione said firmly, “He’s faking it.” 

“He’s what? Why would he do that?” Harry asked, the confusion inside of him threatening to devour his very essence. 

“Sociopaths don’t understand or feel emotion. That doesn’t mean they can’t be brilliant actors. That’s why I am telling you to watch out, Harry.” Hermione said, “He may be pretending to be upset simply for sympathy. Perhaps he is afraid of losing his position as your partner. Merlin knows, the reports department is dreadful.  **But** , he might also be planning something and manipulating you in the process. You should be careful.” 

“Right, right. I will. I have to go.” Harry mumbled, absentmindedly, then left Ron’s office. The talk didn’t help. Neither of them understood. Though Harry couldn’t really blame them. He could never really explain himself to anyone. It was part of the reason that he hadn’t dated or glanced at a single person in his entire life. He needed someone who could just tell what he was thinking without him having to explain it, or know what he needed without him having to say anything. He knew that finding that person was simply a dream that would never come true… 

He arrived at his office and sighed when he found it empty, unable to stop that voice in his head scolding him for driving his partner off in the middle of the day. He  **really** didn’t fancy spending half the shift alone. After all, he had spent every waking moment of his life so far feeling alone. He didn’t want to feel that way at work too… 

As he sat down at his desk, his thoughts drifted to a certain blonde who had at least taken the loneliness out of his work life. 

**_Hermione and Ron don’t know what they’re talking about_ **

**_He’s not manipulating me_ **

**_He’s not dangerous_ **

**_The way he ran out of here_ **

**_And the way he looked when he came back…_ **

**_No. There’s no way he was faking._ **

**_There was something wrong with him_ **

**_Maybe I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow if he feels like it_ **

But Draco didn’t show up to work the next day or the one after that, or the one after that. 


	4. Some of Us Care, Maybe just Me?

Draco didn’t know how long he’d been hiding in his room, unable to move, every single muscle in his body aching with a pain that didn’t have a physical source. 

_ What’s happening?  _

_ Why is it happening?  _

_ He didn’t reject me.  _

_ Not explicitly, anyway.  _

_ I shouldn’t be feeling this badly.  _

_ I shouldn’t be dying. _

But the blonde felt as though he were. He hadn’t eaten, slept, moved, or spoken since he’d left the office. And he didn’t even know how long that was. The moment he arrived at the manor, he had waited for the horrible feeling of implied rejection to go away like all his emotions did whenever he was far away from his mate. It didn’t. The feeling remained and Draco didn’t know what to do, so he decided to sit in the corner of his room, back against the wall with his knees drawn up to his chest, until he stopped feeling again. 

Now, three days later, he wasn’t sure that would ever happen, but he was sure he wasn’t dying. The lack of food, sleep, and energy, in general, was characteristic of a developed Veela’s reaction to rejection. But his symptoms were not advancing past that first stage. Draco didn’t hate himself. He didn’t feel the need to harm himself. His emotions hadn’t taken complete control of his body and weren’t forcing him to commit suicide. 

_ Yet.  _

The blonde whimpered. 

_ It’s just in my head.  _

_ It’s all in my head.  _

_ Nothing is wrong.  _

_ I could get up if I wanted to.  _

_ I could eat and sleep and shower and go to work if I wanted to.  _

_ I just don’t want to.  _

The blonde knew that that fact, itself, was a problem. Not a week before that, Draco had been completely indifferent to life, and, now, he suddenly didn’t want to face it, couldn’t even fathom stepping into the lobby of the building where he worked. What was wrong with him? This wasn’t normal. 

_ I thought I could only feel around Harry…  _

_ Apparently, he can make me react to things too.  _

_ This isn’t good.  _

The blonde knew deep down he needed to quit. And, judging by his reaction to such a small comment from his mate, Draco was now almost certain that their partnership would end up with him dead. 

_ How can I leave Harry, though?  _

_ Will I forget again?  _

_ Will him being far away make me forget about him?  _

_ How will I live with myself if I see him around after that?  _

_ He'll hate me even more than he already does. He doesn't want to be partnerless.  _

_ If I quit, I'll need to quit the whole department.  _

_ I'll need to never see him again…  _

But Draco couldn't wrap his head around any of that. He couldn't just comprehend not seeing his mate again, ever. He didn't want to stay this broken forever and he didn't want to die and leave his mate behind, but maybe it would be worth it? Maybe making Harry breakfast and seeing him laugh and smile and be perfect would be enough for the blonde. It certainly had been until Harry said… What he said. 

The thought terrified Draco and he wondered if this was him moving onto a more deadly stage of rejection. He whimpered pathetically and held onto himself tighter. 

"Malfoy?" he heard a distant voice call out and was now sure he'd gone mad.

_ I am hearing Harry's voice.  _

_ He can't possibly be here.  _

_ I am going insane.  _

_ Is this the final stage?  _

"Oh, Merlin, Malfoy! Are you alright?!" 

Draco blinked and saw his mate standing in the doorway to his room, his green eyes wide and full of… Concern? 

_ My mate is worried about  _ **_me_ ** _?  _

Suddenly, Harry was crouching down in front of Draco, eyeing him incredulously. The simple thought that Harry might worry about the blonde in any way made Draco feel instantly better. 

"I-I am fine." he said, not wanting his mate to worry, but Harry simply shook his head. 

"You don't seem fine to me." 

Draco held in a yelp as Harry's calloused hand pressed against the blonde’s forehead. 

"You don't have a fever…" the brunette murmured then bit his lip. Suddenly, his head snapped up and he looked at Draco, horrified. "You didn't drink any of the coffee from Karl's cart, did you?" 

"The coffee?" Draco mumbled as he tried to stand up. He didn’t want his mate to remain in an uncomfortable position for long. Harry stood up as well, but had to catch Draco almost instantly, the blonde’s tired and famished body catching up to his needs in the wake of his mate’s worrying. Draco swayed dangerously, unable to stop the room from spinning, and ended up collapsing in Harry's arms again, the brunette carrying the small man easily. 

"M'sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me, Harry." the blonde mumbled as he was gently placed onto the bed. 

"Did you eat anything since you - er - left the office?" 

Draco shook his head, unable to lie to his mate, but not understanding what the big deal was. Why would Harry care if Draco ate something? Didn't the brunette explicitly say he'd rather Draco wasn't around? 

"I'll go get you something." Harry said firmly, then stood up. 

"You don't have to do that if you don't want to." Draco forced out. His insides were already feeling warm, and he could feel himself getting better just because of Harry's proximity, but he couldn’t make his mate stay against his will. If he could, he would’ve done it a long time ago. 

"if you don't want me here then why haven't you called someone?" the brunette shouted, "and why weren't you answering your floo to let some of us know that you aren't dead?!" 

"I do want you here! I-I've missed you." Draco’s inner creature self shrieked. 

The blonde wanted to slap himself. He didn't even realize he was saying the words out loud until they were out. Now, he couldn’t take them back. Harry would think he’s pathetic. The brunette wanted him gone and Draco was determined that they remain at each other’s side until his dying breath. 

“Oh,” Harry huffed out, then stared down at his feet, “To be honest, so did I, I guess. It gets kind of boring without a partner. Won’t you let me call someone, so you’ll get better and be back at work?” 

_ ‘So did I’  _

_ ‘So did I’ _

_ My Mate Missed Me! _

“Draco?” 

“I-I don’t have anyone. But, it’s fine. I’ll eat something and take a bath and sleep and I’ll be fine by morning. I’ll come to work, I promise.” Draco said enthusiastically, his inner self happily dancing with the thought of being around his mate all day again. 

_ How could I have ever thought of leaving you? _

“Are you sure? Maybe I should call a healer.” Harry said, already drawing his wand and preparing to cast a Patronus. 

“No! I definitely don’t want that.” Draco said loudly. Creatures aren’t given a confidentiality agreement, especially ones that are Veelas and have heartbreak. They’re all deemed too mysterious and animalistic and unstable to decide what’s best for them. If Harry called a healer over, that man would waste no time in telling Harry all of Draco’s secrets, with the pretense of it being for his own good. “I don’t like healers. Please. I have a brilliant house elf. He’ll take care of me if I call him and I will. I promise.” 

Harry looked conflicted but finally nodded nonetheless. 

“Alright, fine. I won’t call anyone.” the brunette said, then looked to the ground. They were both silent for a couple of minutes, then Harry sighed and looked up at Draco again, “I guess I’ll just go back to work, then. I hope you feel better.” 

_ He doesn’t want to leave _

Draco’s eyes snapped open despite how tired he was feeling. He didn’t know how he knew that his mate was in pain, but he did and he couldn’t let Harry leave. 

_ I can rest when my mate is happy.  _

“Harry?” he hesitantly called out, not knowing the source of Harry’s sadness or what he could say to make it stop. 

“Yes?” the brunette asked as he turned around with a hopeful look. 

“I won’t be much company, but if you’re not happy at the office, you can stay here and we can chat over breakfast like we always do.” 

Draco watched, his inner self jumping in joy, as a wide smile spreading across his mate’s face and sparkles erupted in his beautiful, green eyes. Then, his treacherous body sent another wave of exhaustion his way and he couldn’t help but yawn and Harry frowned. 

“I don’t want to be a burden on you, Malfoy. It’s fine. I can handle another day without you there. You just need to get better right now.” 

Then, his mate was leaving again. And the brunette clearly didn’t want to go back to work, again. 

“My house elf is Dobby’s son,” Draco said and sighed in relief when Harry turned around, wide-eyed, “He had a wife in his early days before he came to be in the manor. His son, Emmyl, got sick and Dobby agreed to work for my father if he treated him. You know the rest. But he and I remained close. He is a lot like Dobby, looks like him too. Maybe you’d enjoy talking to him.” 

Harry was gaping at Draco. 

“D-Dobby had a son? Where is he?” 

“Emmyl!” the blonde called and an elf that looked exactly like Harry’s former friend came into the room. 

“Yes, Drac-” the elf started, but was cut off by Harry picking him up and squeezing him to his own chest until Emmyl yelped and he put the elf down. 

“Master Harry Potter! I’ve heard a lot about you. What would you like to eat, Master Harry Potter?” 

“No. No. Don’t call me that. My name is Harry. And- and there doesn’t have to be any food. I am just so happy to see you. You look exactly like your father.” 

Draco watched as Harry tried and failed to tell Emmyl not to exhaust himself. The elf wouldn’t stand for it and pulled an article that spoke about Harry’s favorite food (yes the prophet was that pointless) when the green-eyed Auror wouldn’t tell the elf. 

The blonde was grateful for his tiny friend. Truly. Emmyl knew everything. He’s the only one who knew everything and Draco knew that the elf would rather work for Lucius Malfoy again than spill the blonde’s secret, especially to Draco’s own mate. Of course, what the elf had in loyalty and kindness, he lacked in intelligence. Emmyl was too innocent for his own good, thinking that if he treated Draco’s mate kindly enough, made him great meals, engaged him in conversation, that Harry would stay and the blonde would get better. Draco wished it were that simple. 


	5. What if?

Emmyl was a chatter, one who didn't take no for an answer when he was offering something, so Harry was forced to sit through three meals in Malfoy Manor the day he decided to pop in and check on his partner. Dobby's son was so funny, so enthusiastic and kind, that Harry couldn't even find it in himself to be disturbed by the knowledge that Voldemort had once lived there. 

When he woke up, he was surprised to find himself still there and cursed himself for burdening his sick partner even more. He had chatted with Malfoy a bit and ate the meals with him, but when the blonde finally fell into a deep sleep, Emmyl and Harry spoke about Dobby while the elf prepared a treacle tart for the brunette. And… that's all Harry remembers really. 

"Harry? Are you up yet?" he heard Draco ask as the blonde gently opened the door and peeked inside. Once he saw that Harry was up, he smiled widely, "Get dressed. Emmyl and I made breakfast. Do you want to eat it here or in the office?" 

Harry blinked at the soft, normal tone. 

**_Isn’t he weirded out that I spent the night without his permission?_ **

“In the office is fine. We have a lot of work to catch up on. I haven’t finished a single report since you left. I guess I got used to having you check and fix all my mistakes.” Harry replied, then sighed in relief when Draco chuckled. 

Before they were out the door, Emmyl showed up, handing them the breakfast and winking at Draco. 

“Will Master Harry Potter be wanting chicken or fish for dinner tonight?” Emmyl asked and smiled while waiting for a reply. 

The brunette smiled back. He wished he could come back and spend more time with Emmyl. House-elves and humans usually didn’t have much in common, but Harry was surprised the earlier night by Emmyl’s deep knowledge of everything from Quidditch, to Hogwarts subjects, to potions, to Auror case filing, to literally anything else. He also spoke regular, unbroken English and wore fitting robes that were even more expensive than Harry’s. The wrinkles and folds that were usually characteristic of Elf’s skin were absent from his face entirely. If not for the huge eyes and elf ears, one could’ve mistaken Emmyl for a child. He was more human than some people Harry knew and the brunette knew Dobby would’ve been very proud. 

“Emmyl!” Malfoy hissed quietly and Harry clamped his mouth shut before saying anything, “You shouldn’t invite people twice in a row, let alone assume that they’re coming back. That’s impolite!” 

Suddenly, the kind elf turned shades of red and stomped his foot angrily. 

“I am not being impolite!” the little elf screeched at Malfoy, “Master Harry Potter liked spending time here. Maybe if you had let him feel welcome here before, then he would’ve come sooner and you wouldn’t have gotten so bad this time, Draco!” 

Harry’s eyes widened and his mouth hung open involuntarily. He couldn’t believe that the elf had the guts to speak to Malfoy like that. 

**_He has his father’s boldness, I see._ **

The brunette was just about to step between Emmyl and Malfoy to prevent any kind of violent or hurtful confrontation. Sure, he and Malfoy got along well enough, but it’s not like the brunette could just forget that Malfoy is heartless. But, before he could move, the elf’s huge, green eyes became wet and he suddenly burst into tears, shrieking something incomprehensible and running up the stairs to Draco’s bedroom? 

**_That’s odd._ **

The blonde sighed loudly and turned to Harry. 

“I’m sorry. You can go ahead and I’ll join you at the office in a bit. I have to deal with him, first.” the blonde told Harry, handing him the breakfast. But, after Draco disappeared up the stairs, Harry couldn’t find it in himself to leave the manor. 

**_What does he mean ‘deal with him’?_ **

**_Is he going to hurt Emmyl?!_ **

**_Is he going to yell at him?_ **

**_Scold him for being worried?_ **

Harry couldn’t let any of that happen. He raced back to Malfoy’s bedroom, but stopped at the frame, confused by the scene in front of him. Emmyl was laying on his stomach on Draco’s bed, his head buried in his crossed arms as he sobbed out over and over again that Draco was his best friend and that he didn’t want the blonde to die. Draco was kneeling on the ground next to the bed, trying and failing to comfort the elf. 

“I am not going to die, Emmyl. Come on, you know nothing could take me from you. I was just sick during the past few days. It’s not what you’re thinking, honest!” the blonde murmured, rubbing the elf’s back. Harry’s heart clenched and he scolded himself for coming up here to protect the elf. The brunette was too mesmerized by the scene to really think about what their mysterious conversation meant. 

“Y-you w-wouldn’t e-eat or s-sleep!” the elf shrieked, “you were dying r-right i-in front of me. I-I am not stupid, Draco! I know what I saw.” 

That statement shut the blonde up entirely. He sighed sullenly and kept rubbing the elf’s back in a comforting gesture. Harry hesitantly walked into the room, then stood awkwardly at the foot of the bed, eyeing the encounter. He was a bit disappointed that the elf seemed to only want him around for Malfoy’s sake, but he was more upset by Emmyl’s crying. 

“I would like chicken for dinner tonight, Emmyl.” he murmured, hoping he somehow wouldn’t make everything worse. Both the blonde and elf looked up at him with wide smiles and nodded enthusiastically. Then Draco mouthed ‘thank you’ and he shook his head in response, waving the blonde off. 

* * *

“I am sorry about Emmyl.” the blonde said during breakfast once they got to the office, “He likes you very much. He does. He told me himself. But he and I have been around each other for a long time and he tends to… overreact whenever I don’t feel well. If you just agreed for his sake, feel free to cancel. I am sure he won’t be mad.” 

Malfoy’s voice sounded pained as he spoke the words, but Harry wasn’t going to cancel dinner either way. He couldn’t do that to Emmyl. A slight smile formed on his face when the blonde started describing Emmyl’s rant about how much he had loved spending time with the brunette. He’d go to the manor and spend as much time with Dobby’s son as the elf wanted. Malfoy, on the other hand… 

Harry didn’t really know how to react to everything that had happened within the past 24 hours. The blonde looked like he was dying the night earlier, but somehow rolled out of bed completely fine and ready for the day the next morning? It didn’t make any sense!

**_And what was that with Emmyl today?_ **

**_He was so loving, kind even!_ **

**_I thought he didn’t feel that way about anything._ **

**_Let alone elves, the same creatures that the Malfoys were known for torturing._ **

Suddenly, a crazy theory came to Harry, one where Hermione was right. What if the blonde was truly acting, but not in the sense that Hermione thought he was? What if he and the doctor had concocted some insane story about Malfoy being a sociopath so the blonde wouldn’t go to Azkaban? What if Malfoy is actually...normal? There’s no way that loving person he saw today was a sociopath! But, does that mean the blonde participated in the war willingly? That he truly believed and probably still believes in that blood superiority nonsense? That he actually meant all those horrible things he said about Harry and Mione and Ron during Hogwarts? 

Suddenly, a wave of anger erupted through Harry and he was determined to get to the bottom of things no matter what. 

“Harry? Are you alright? Did you hear what I said?” he heard Draco ask softly.  **Softly** ! 

“Yes and I am still coming over.” the brunette gritted out. 

**_I’ll come over and watch you._ **

**_I’ll find out exactly the kind of person you are._ **


	6. What are you Hiding?

Harry sat at dinner, eating slowly while not-so-subtly eyeing the blonde next to him. It didn't matter that he wasn't being discrete. Malfoy seemed to be loving the attention since he blushed and smiled at Harry multiple times. 

"Sorry that Emmyl had to leave us early. I bet he really wanted to spend time with you." the blonde told him. 

Harry huffed. He hated it when Malfoy did that. It was alright for him to suspect and actively investigate his partner's lies when his partner was an asshole. But Draco was so kind, so sweet and so considerate. It drove the brunette mad. 

**_Why are you being so nice?!_ **

The only reasonable explanation the brunette could come with was that his and Hermione's theories came hand-in-hand. Draco was faking being a sociopath while simultaneously faking kindness around Harry because he wanted something. 

That explanation enraged Harry further. He was mad at the idea that his new-found friendship with Malfoy was all a bunch of lies. The blonde seemed to understand Harry so well…

He thought of filing a report with the ministry, alerting them that the healer's testimony in court was a fake, but he didn’t have any proof. 

Yet. 

“It’s alright.” Harry gritted out, then a brilliant idea formed in his head. He knew Malfoy, the real Malfoy, and the real Malfoy couldn’t stand Harry Potter. Malfoy wouldn’t last another week if Harry started pushing his buttons. The brunette wouldn’t even have to do anything difficult. The more he was himself around Malfoy, the more the blonde would be appalled. That’s how it always was between them, after all. If Harry got the blonde wound up enough, maybe Malfoy wouldn’t pay attention to what he was saying and confess. Then, the brunette would take that memory right to the ministry. It was a foolproof plan.

“If you’re asking because I look upset,” Harry started, then continued when Draco looked at him with curiosity, “I have, indeed, been a bit sad lately.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” the blonde asked softly, looking the brunette in the eye. Harry choked on his food. He hadn’t been expecting that. Surely Malfoy doesn’t care…

The brunette went on for two hours about the recent debate in the ministry about whether muggleborn testimonies should be taken at the same value as those of purebloods. 

“I-I just thought we were past this.” he stammered finally, “It’s been three years since the war and you’d think that the horrors of that war alone would make the ministry see reason. But, no, they’re just as arrogant and close-minded as they’ve always been. They should’ve been replaced the second that Voldemort was killed, all of them. I know they’ve been working on programs to include recent graduates and try to ‘improve’ their system, but it doesn’t really work if the ones holding the true power could just say no to whatever the new recruits propose, you know?” 

“I understand your point.” he heard the blonde say, jumping in surprise. Harry had picked that topic of conversation on purpose, positive it would enrage Malfoy and cause him to drop the concerned friend act, which would indirectly confirm Harry’s beliefs. But, along the line, the brunette had forgotten about the blonde’s presence altogether and spoke from the heart entirely. He was glad to finally have someone who would listen to him and not flinch every time he brought up the war (Ron and Hermione), or ignore all that he was saying and ask why they haven’t gotten together yet (Ginny), or just say some nonsense that he could not,for the life of him, understand (Luna). Everyone else scolded him and said that the war was too much of a traumatic experience for Harry to bring up openly within the conversation. 

But Malfoy simply just...listened. He didn’t even interrupt once, didn’t even wince when Harry had described the bloodshed he had witnessed in the war. It was just what the brunette needed. 

“Y-you do?” 

The blonde, whose eyes were suddenly very sad, just nodded slowly and looked down at the table, whispering “I know what it’s like to be judged for something you can’t control. It’s very frustrating and hurtful. I wouldn’t ever wish it on anyone, especially so many people. Muggleborns are humans, just like everyone else in the wizarding world. It’s not like they’ve committed some heinous crime and deserve to have their privileges revoked. On the contrary, crimes have been committed against  **them** and they need justice now more than they ever did before. When I think about what happened to them-” 

“What in the bloody hell are you talking about Malfoy?!” Harry shouted, unable to keep his anger at bay. How dare the blonde compare being judged as a death eater to being judged as a muggleborn? “You can’t compare yourself to them. It’s not the same thing by a long shot!” 

“You-you’re right. Of course, you are. It’s not the same. I don’t get to complain. I wasn’t- I just thought - you were talking openly for the first time and sharing and - You know what? It’s stupid. I’m stupid. Nevermind. Please excuse me.” Malfoy whispered immediately when Harry finished shouting. Though it seemed like he was whispering it to himself more than the brunette. Harry watched as the blonde exited the dining room all together and went into the furthest restroom down the hall. Suddenly, he felt freakishly small hands hit his arm. 

It was Emmyl, who was giving Harry a death glare. 

“You can’t say things like that to Draco! He’s very sensitive!” the elf shrieked, stomping his feet on the ground, “He didn’t belittle your pain, so why did you yell at him about his?!” 

“Of course, he doesn’t belittle my pain because  **mine** wasn’t my own damn fault, unlike his.” Harry huffed out, “I don’t know how you can be friends with someone like him.” 

The elf started whimpering, then got a pillow off the couch and started hitting Harry with it. 

“Leave right now! Draco deserves kindness and love, not whatever you’re doing! You’re hurting him! Get out.” 

The elf kept speaking quietly and hitting Harry with the pillow until the brunette had been physically pushed to the floo. Emmyl refused to listen when Harry asked why the elf was so upset over and over again. 

Finally, Harry deflated and left, but not before Emmyl’s final warning. 

“If you are mean to him at work, I’ll know.”

* * *

“Where did Harry go?” Draco asked as he stepped into the dining room to find Emmyl clearing the table. The elf shook his head gently. 

“I didn’t know he was allergic to peanuts. He had to leave to take his medicine.” the elf whispered bitterly, but the blonde didn’t even notice the tone. Panic spread through Draco’s body faster than fiendfyre and threatened to drown him. 

_ Is my mate going to be alright?! _

Emmyl noticed this and quickly jumped to calm Draco down. 

“He was alright. It is a very mild reaction. He said he could easily come back here after taking his medicine, that he’d be fine then.” 

“He’s coming back, then?” Draco asked cheerfully, then frowned when Emmyl shook his head. 

“He said he doesn’t want to get you sick. He insisted.” the elf said, then wanted to slap himself for how illogical that excuse was. 

“Oh, perhaps he’d be happy if we made him a treacle tart without any nuts, then.” the blonde said, a slight smile forming on his face as he skipped into the kitchen.

Emmyl blinked twice, not sure how to react to what had just happened. The elf knew he was a terrible liar and that he especially couldn’t lie to Draco. The blonde had always been able to see through him. How come he had believed Emmyl this time, despite how ridiculous the lies were? Draco surely remembered that Harry had all but initiated a fight before he left and that allergies weren’t contagious. Emmyl shrugged it off, telling himself that the blonde was just too affected by his veela instincts to notice, but, deep down, he knew something was terribly wrong with Draco. 


	7. Can't Give Him Up

Draco had never really understood the big deal about being a veela. He didn't think it was a good thing at all based on what he read about final rejection and its effects. Being a veela had caused the blonde nothing but pain and indifference. 

But after Harry came over for dinner a week earlier, the brunette was suddenly an open book with Draco. They told each other everything. Or more like Harry only talked and Draco only listened and stayed silent because the last time he had shared his thoughts, his mate had gotten mad and Draco didn't want that happening again. 

None of that mattered, though. The important thing was that Draco finally understood the beauty behind being a veela, the overwhelming feeling of having his mate next to him, sharing, laughing, and even crying. Anything Harry did flooded Draco with joy so intense that he wanted to jump up and down on the spot and run around shouting that his mate was the perfect man in every single way. 

And Harry seemed happy about their time together as well. They had made a silent deal to finish all their work within the first half of their shift then spend the rest of it chatting. Anytime his mate was called into the field, Draco would simply stay there and daydream about Harry. And when that wasn't enough, the blonde would steal some of Harry's pens or staplers or something so the brunette would touch Draco's hand while taking another from the blonde. 

_ I wonder if he feels that spark between our fingers, too…  _

He learned a lot of things about his mate during that short period of time. For one, Harry seemed… unsure about everything he did, constantly asking Draco if he had said the right thing during certain meetings or cast the right hex during a field job or used the right words in a report. The brunette also tended to drift mid-conversation, and lower his voice so only he, himself, could hear what he was saying. Draco was sure Harry wasn’t aware he was doing it. Every time, the brunette would suddenly look up at Draco and clamp his mouth shut when he realized he was still speaking, ending the unfinished conversation entirely. 

Those were the moments Draco was the most worried about their friendship, unsure if the brunette was stopping because he didn’t trust the blonde enough to continue, or because he just didn’t feel like it anymore. His inner creature self was screaming at him, telling him to ask his mate why he isn’t finishing his deep thoughts, why he is cutting himself off, and whether he trusts Draco enough to keep going. The blonde fought the urge with all he had. He didn’t want to push Harry in any way. What they had was more than Draco had ever thought he could have with his mate. Of course, he wanted more; he would always want more, but this could be enough for him forever. 

“Oi, Malfoy, are you sure you don’t know where my pens have been going?” 

Harry’s voice interrupted his line of thought and he looked up to find the brunette scratching the back of his head and looking around his desk frantically. 

"I don't." the blonde squeaked, his inner veela allowing him to lie to his mate just for the wonderful feeling of passing him a pen. 

"Right, then, I'll go borrow one from Ron.” the brunette murmured to himself, then got up and left the office. 

Draco blinked, huffed, then slumped in his chair, frowning and biting his lip. 

_ Why didn’t he ask me for one this time?  _

_ Are Ron’s pens somehow better than mine?  _

_ Because he’d be a better partner than me?  _

_ Because Harry would always rather be with him than with me?  _

_ What does the red-head have that I don’t?!  _

Draco suddenly choked on nothing but air, weirded out by his own train of thoughts. All this over a pen? This thing was getting out of hand. The blonde locked the drawer that contained almost all of his mate’s desk supplies, then hid the key in his bag. These little games wouldn’t be worth it if Harry started leaving the room to get more supplies. Draco would just have to find another creative excuse for their hands to touch...

* * *

  
  


“Ron, I am telling you he is up to something,” Harry told his best friend firmly as Ron handed him a pen, “You think he’s taking my stuff to look for pieces of hair so he could polyjuice into me forever then lock me away and pretend he’s me? They did take his fortune, after all. He would benefit from a field Auror’s salary.” 

Ron rolled his eyes for the thousandth time that week. 

“Mate, for the last time, if you’re suspicious, report him to the ministry. You don’t need a confession, even. Just show them how he acts around you and they’ll investigate. If you’re not going to do that then shut up about Malfoy already! God, it’s like sixth year all over again.” 

Harry scoffed, took the pen, then left the office. Of course, Ron wouldn’t understand why Harry just couldn’t report Malfoy. The brunette didn’t have enough proof and the ministry was biased. The old ones wouldn’t dare throw Malfoy in a jail cell and the younger ones would feel bad for the poor cute blonde guy who doesn’t have emotions and can never feel the joys of love. 

**_But that’s not why you’re doing it!_ **

**_You like spending time with him._ **

**_Even if it might not be real._ **

**_Admit it! He’s amazing._ **

**_And he actually listens to you instead of telling you to shut up about things that matter to you like Ron does._ **

Harry shook his head and willed the stubborn thoughts away. He couldn’t think like that, not when Malfoy was probably playing him. 

His cell phone ringing caused Harry to snap out of his thoughts. Almost everyone in the hallway turned towards him in alarm. He almost laughed out loud at how ridiculous wizards were sometimes. They had killing curses thrown at them during the war yet were afraid of a little beeping sound? 

“Hello?” he asked, answering the phone as he entered a secluded hallway. 

“Hello. Mister Harry Potter?” 

“Speaking…” Harry answered slowly. He only had the phone for documentation purposes in the muggle world. He had no idea who would be calling him. 

“Yes, this is Duncan from CED bank, Mr. Potter. You turned 21 recently yet have not come around to sign for access to your trust fund account and have a card made for it in your name.” 

“Trust fund account?” 

**_What trust fund account?_ **

“This is Harry James Potter, son of James and Lily Potter, correct?” 

“Yes.” 

“Sir, your parents left a large sum of money in your name to be claimed when you turn 21. Until then, it would’ve been controlled by your official guardians. Have they not informed you of its presence?” 

**_No…_ **

“No, they have not. By ‘control’ you mean…”

“Why, they could take out as much money as they would like to, provided that they present receipts of the transactions so the bank could ensure that they would only use the money on you. Those were your parents’ terms, after all. They even left you a letter to be opened when you turned-” 

“A l-letter?” Harry stammered, his heart beating out of his chest. All he had of his parents was a picture of them together and his father’s invisibility cloak. He’d give anything to see something they had  **written for him** . “C-can I come in, now?” 

“Er- sure, Mr. Potter, you can-” the guy hesitantly said. Harry instantly hung up the phone and apparated into the alley next to the bank, then took a deep breath and walked through its doors. 

* * *

_ Our Son,  _

_ You’re finally an adult and we couldn’t be more proud (we do hope you’ve invited us to your 21st birthday party, though). Either way, we are so happy to give this trust to you as a gift that has been handed down to us. Penelope Evans, your great-great-grandmother had been very paranoid and saved up a lot of money despite being poor, her daughter invested it and made a small fortune, half of which she gave to my sister, Petunia, and the other half to me, your mother. I used some of it to pay for Hogwarts, and your father added a small fortune of his own to the remaining sum, and now we’re giving it to you to use it on yourself and your dreams, then hopefully add even a small amount of money to it at some point and pass the tradition on to your children. Your father and I have a bet. James believes you will be a quidditch player, but I can just see it in your eyes that you’ll love fighting crime and become the world’s best Auror someday, so when you get this letter show it to your father and remind him that he owes me ten galleons for losing this bet.  _

_ We Love you!  _

  * _Your parents_



  
  


Harry’s bottom lip quivered as he held the letter in his hand. He didn’t want to cry in front of the young bank employee. 

“A-and it’s all gone?” he asked again, “All of it?” 

Duncan looked a bit uncomfortable, but pulled out the receipts and laid them out in front of Harry. The brunette’s eyes widened. There were thousands of them. 

“I am sure this is a disappointment, but your guardians seemed to have enjoyed pampering you.” the employee said with a nervous smile. Harry looked down at some of the receipts. 

Enrollment in a prestigious elementary, middle, and high-school 

College fund 

Expensive Clothing 

Dozens of nutritional and dietary specialists 

Birthday presents

Rooms decorations 

**_They spent all my parents’ money on Dudley…_ **

“Mr. Potter, I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now, but the return rate on this type of account is almost 50%. It’s a very generous type of investment, but if the total in the account is less than a certain number, It’s extremely expensive to keep it going. Do you understand what I am trying to tell you?” 

Harry’s eyes snapped to the employee and he sullenly nodded his head. 

“You can close it. I’ll sign whatever you need. I just want to leave.” the brunette murmured, carefully folding the only letter his parents will ever write him and putting it in his pocket. 

“Er - I can’t, really. Not with what is owed. Mr. Potter, the amount needed to sustain the account hasn’t been met in over 19 years. Your guardians chose certain packages with other banks that would ensure your enrollment in those schools and signed up for insurance for your medical needs, but they withdrew everything at once against this bank’s advisement. The account has been in the negatives for two decades. We understand that you shouldn’t have to pay for this, yourself and that this wasn’t your mistake, but the fact is the account is in your name now and those things are your responsibility. I’d hire a lawyer if I were you.” 

Harry couldn’t breathe. He felt numb all over. He had left the Dursleys after the war and never looked back and now this?! He thought he was done with them. He just had to ask, even if he was sure he wouldn’t like the answer. He needed this whole thing to be behind him. 

“How much do I owe?” 


	8. They Don't Understand

“Those damn Dursleys!” Ron yelled as Harry sat in front of him fidgeting with his hands and looking at the ground. He hadn’t said anything, hadn’t wanted to say anything and was sure Ron would only make him feel worse. He loved his best friends dearly, but some things just aren’t for some people’s ears. 

But Malfoy had apparently gone to Ron, panicked, claiming that Harry never came back to work. So when the red-head had apparated into their shared house and found Harry crying into a pillow on the couch, the brunette could only groan and mentally slap himself for having his breakdown in his own room so he could be left alone. 

So Harry had to begrudgingly tell his best mate everything and wait for the inevitable explosion. 

“I’ll report them, I will. Don’t worry, Harry. We’re getting all that money back. They won’t get away with this.” 

“I don’t want to do that.” the brunette murmured, still staring at the floor. 

**_How could you think this is about the money?_ **

“Why the hell not, Harry? They stole from you and- and you’re just going to let them get away with this?!” he heard his best friend yell, causing him to flinch. 

**_I don’t want to see them._ **

**_I don’t want them to see me._ **

**_I don’t want to remember anything from my time with them._ **

**_It took me long enough to forget it._ **

**_I want this to be over._ **

**_I want to move on._ **

**_They’ll drag this on forever, they will._ **

**_They won’t pay up that easily._ **

**_Maybe they’ll even start threatening me or sending people after me._ **

**_I need this whole thing buried and for them never to hear my name again._ **

**_How will bringing them to court help with that?!_ **

“I-It’s not that simple, Ron.” the brunette choked, trying to push away the painful memories of his childhood with those whales, “We’ll t-tell them that the money wasn’t to pay for my school, for example, but then they’ll ask where I went so they could prove it wasn’t there and - and I can’t just say ‘Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry’, can I?” 

“We won’t charge them for the school fees, then. What about the food and the doctors and the college fund and everything else? Anyone who knew you back then could testify that they weren’t for you.” his red-head friend gritted out, unable to believe that Harry wasn’t more upset about this. 

**_But nobody knew me back then._ **

**_I was locked in my cupboard for days on end._ **

**_I don’t even remember the names of anyone I went to school with before Hogwarts_ **

**_And even if I did I wouldn’t just call them up and ask them whether they remember my baggy, worn out clothes and how thin I was back then._ **

**_It would be too embarrassing and I just don’t want to...remember_ **

“Please, Ron, just drop it!” Harry wailed, squeezing his pillow tighter and burying his face in it. He was right. The red-head was making him feel worse. Now, he just felt weak and useless, like he owed it to his inner child to get justice, but wasn’t strong enough to do anything about it. 

“Mate, I am just trying to help you.” he heard his friend say firmly, then felt the couch dip next to him, “If you really don’t want to do anything about it, at least talk to the bank. You shouldn’t have to pay a dime to them, not after they neglected to make sure the Dursleys were following your mum’s wishes. Don’t you think?” 

The brunette shook his head into the pillow and braced himself for the lecture he knew he was going to get. 

“Mate,” Ron said firmly, “we’re Aurors. Our job is to catch bad guys like the Dursleys and make them pay so they, and everyone else who thinks to act like them, would know that they won’t get away with it.” 

Harry closed his eyes and huffed, knowing exactly what was coming next. 

“Our job isn’t just ours. It’s everybody’s. It’s everyone’s job to report the bad guys and if they don’t, we’ll just stay in our offices twiddling our thumbs while the bad guys keep wronging more and more people and these people won’t report it, either. Pretty soon, the whole wizarding world will just be one big lawless, dangerous battlefield. And, I hate to say it, mate, but it would be the fault of the people who didn’t report the bad guys in the first place. Do you get what I am saying?” the red-head finished softly, but his words cut through Harry like pieces of glass. 

The brunette just nodded silently. 

**_Please go away._ **

**_Just go away._ **

**_I don’t need this right now._ **

**_Fine. I get it. I am a horrible person._ **

**_But I can’t do what you want me to do._ **

**_Why can’t you understand that?!_ **

**_Why can’t everyone else?_ **

“So, you’ll report them?” Ron asked enthusiastically. Harry finally looked up. His friend was already deep in thought, presumably coming up with plans to investigate where the money went and prove that it wasn’t spent on Harry in court. 

**_I can’t lie and say I will._ **

**_He’ll probably want to help out._ **

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” he mumbled and prayed to Merlin that his friend would leave it alone. 

“Too bad!” Ron said loudly, “You’re letting criminals get away with a crime, Harry. What kind of Auror are you? Huh? What kind of person are you?! Do you not want your parents’ money back? How can you be so calm about this?!” 

**_I’ll never get it back._ **

**_Even if they repay me._ **

**_It’ll never be my family’s money._ **

**_My family’s money is gone, along with them._ **

Harry pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes as he felt tears threatening to escape. He knew Ron meant well, but he just **didn’t** understand. The brunette simply grabbed his wand, sent his friend an apologetic look, and apparated out of the house, already thinking up ways to apologize to the red-head when he next sees him. He wound up in a muggle bar, not wanting to go anywhere where he might be recognized as ‘the great Harry Potter’, and started downing shots. 

* * *

Draco was worried sick. Harry had left to get a pen from his best friend and never returned. He even went to the red-head himself, but all he got was a "sod off, Malfoy. He doesn't need to tell you where he's going all the time. Maybe he just left early." 

The blonde felt at a twinge at the insinuation that he wasn't important enough for his mate to tell him that he'd leave him early. But that didn't really matter. He was more worried about where his mate was and whether he was alright. 

Draco didn't need to wonder or worry for too long, though. A few minutes after he got home, Harry was knocking his door down. The blonde's heart broke when he saw the brunette. His mate’s face was almost red with fury, but the look he cast at Draco was the saddest one the blonde had ever seen. 

"Y-you're w-worse than them, you know?" he shouted, "Y-you- at least they were being honest about hating me! And - and at least Ron is trying to make me feel better, even if he’s doing it in the crappiest way possible! But you h-have t-to play all these m-mind games with m-me and g-get me to l-like you so it would h-hurt worse when you-you betray me!" 

_What are you talking about?!_

_What mind games?_

_I would never do that to you._

_Who are ‘they’?_

The blonde didn’t even realize he was screaming the words out loud in a shrill voice until his mate turned a brighter shade of red and advanced towards Draco, who stepped back until they were both in the house then shut the door. Harry jumped when he heard the door close, presumably too drunk to be aware of what was happening around him. Then, he turned back towards Draco and started chuckling bitterly, then slurred. 

“The game is up, Malfoy! I know you and that bogus healer faked that medical report in court. I know you broke the law to escape Azkaban. And I know you are just pretending to like me so I won’t report you or demote you or- I don’t know why you’re doing it, but you just are!” 

Draco felt his eyes become wet at Harry’s hurtful words. How could his mate think he didn't like him? Draco loves Harry so much it **hurts**. 

The brunette just shook his head when he saw the tears running down Draco’s cheeks. 

"Y-you can d-drop the act, M-Malfoy. I know you don’t care about me!" Harry screamed, both his hands clenched at his sides, then looked at the ground and sniffled. 

“Calm down, mate.” Draco whispered, then started stroking Harry’s muscular arm in a comforting gesture. He didn’t know what made him say it; it just came out instinctively and it seemed to be helping Harry somehow. The brunette stopped shaking so badly and obliged when the blonde asked him to sit on the couch. 

“Harry, I would never lie to you, ever. I-” Draco started, putting a lot of effort into not touching the sad brunette at all. His heart was breaking with every second that passed without him making his mate feel better. 

“Yes, you would! You would.” Harry sobbed out, interrupting him, “Everybody does. Every-everyone betrays me and manipulates me and hurts me and I-I try to give them the b-benefit of the-the doubt, but I-I always end up a-alone.” 

_Who?_

_Who did that to you?!_

_I’ll kill them!!_

_NO ONE HURTS_ **_MY MATE_ ** _!_

Suddenly, the blonde felt a sharp, burning pain in his hands and turned to see that his fingertips were morphing into talons. He held in a gasp and shoved both of them under his thighs in an effort to hide them from Harry, who was still sniffling sadly next to the blonde. Draco looked up and saw that Harry didn’t seem to be convinced that the blonde cared about him. Draco’s whole body shook with a different kind of pain. He felt a strange prickling sensation flood everywhere within him, poking him under his skin. His entire body was begging him to do something, but he didn’t know what that was. Not knowing what else to do, he surrendered his body completely to his instincts, surprised when they caused him to lunge forward and wrap his arms around Harry, who thrashed in resistance. The blonde gasped again as he felt his skin radiate an odd kind of magic. Suddenly, his mate seemed to calm down considerably and stopped thrashing. Seconds later, Harry broke down, his entire body shaking wildly as he cried his eyes out, wetting Draco’s shoulder. 

“Harry, I don’t know who or what you’re talking about and why you’re this upset, but if you tell me, I promise I’ll do everything in my power to make it alright again.” Draco murmured softly after Harry stopped crying. 

_It’s my job to do that_

_My entire life’s purpose_

_The only thing that could make me happy!_

_What good am I for if I can’t even make my mate happy?!_

_Please stop being in pain._

But his mate had fallen asleep in his arms, calmed by the weird sensation that the veela was giving off. Draco gently laid him down on the couch, then crooned as he watched his beautiful, perfect mate sleep soundly. It took a couple of seconds for him to snap out of it and realize what he was doing was creepy, at which point he called Emmyl and asked him to take Harry to a guest bedroom and tuck him in. 

“I did as you asked, Draco. Even though bastard Potter doesn’t deserve it.” the elf squeaked when he apparated into Draco’s room half an hour later, then muttered to himself, “Accusing you of such horrible crimes when you’ve been nothing but kind to him.” 

“Emmyl!” Draco said, horrified that the elf was insulting his mate, yet holding back a wide smile at how protective his friend was over him. A minute later, Emmyl had not left the room. 

“Is there something else you wanted to talk about without insulting my mate?” Draco asked, still a bit annoyed by the elf’s earlier remark. Emmyl just shifted his feet and looked at the ground biting his lip. 

“Harry Potter talks in his sleep. I know what’s bothering him. Would you like to know?” the elf said, then quickly continued, when Draco looked like he was going to refuse, “I was just thinking if you make it go away, then maybe Harry potter will love you and take his rejection back and you will be normal again.” 

Draco sighed. He didn’t want to explain to his cute, innocent best friend why life just didn’t work like that. Then he really thought about Emmyl’s words. He didn’t want to invade his mate’s privacy, but Harry was just so devastated. Draco didn’t want to see him that upset ever again! It was his job to make his mate feel better, after all… Seeing Harry happy again was also a huge upside. 

“Tell me what upset him, Emmyl.”


	9. No one Hurts My Mate

Harry instantly apparated out of Malfoy Manor when he woke up the next day, stumbling into directly into his own room to avoid seeing Ron, and showering in an attempt to get rid of the killer headache he had. He walked into the office not knowing what to expect. He was beyond mortified at what he had done the night before. He hadn’t meant to go to Malfoy’s house and yell at him or to cry in his arms…

**_What was that about?!_ **

**_With him, I just felt so safe._ **

**_Like nothing could ever get to me._ **

**_Like he would protect me…_ **

Harry quickly shook his head, scolding himself for his line of thoughts. Him and Malfoy were barely friends to begin with, but now that Harry revealed to Malfoy that he was suspecting him of fraud this whole time, any friendship they could’ve had was out the window. That was really unfortunate, since Harry was starving and in desperate need of the company of anyone who wasn’t pissed off at him. He took a deep breath and walked into their office, then sat behind his desk trying hard not to think about how comforting it felt when the blonde had held him last night. 

When he finally looked up, Draco had somehow moved a chair and was sitting right in front of him, setting his favorite dishes, which Emmyl probably informed him of, on the desk. 

“I hope you don’t mind that I used a warming charm on them. I know you hate them, but I didn’t think you’d come in late.” the blonde murmured, then sat across from Harry, looking the surprised brunette in the eye. Neither spoke for a few seconds, every second of silence adding to the tension Harry was already suffocating from. Just as he opened his mouth to apologize for everything he had done and said the night before and beg Malfoy to forget all of it, the blonde spoke loudly and clearly, looking Harry in the eye. 

“I, Draco Lucius Malfoy, lied to the Wizengamot. I do not, nor have I ever technically suffered from the illness of sociopathy. Healer Davidson was fed wrong symptoms by me and knew nothing of it.” Draco said, then bent over, retrieved a small plate of peanuts, and whispered without looking at the brunette “You can take that memory to the ministry. I won’t lie and I won’t stop you. Frankly, being thrown in a cell would be better than working with you if you truly believe I am capable of murdering people just because they are not ‘pure’ or whatever.” 

“But you just said you weren’t a sociopath!” Harry exclaimed. 

**_How are you making me out to be the bad guy?!_ **

**_You’re the one who lied in court!_ **

**_Why are you telling me all of this?_ **

**_Surely, you don’t think I’ll forgive you and we’ll be friends?_ **

**_Do you?_ **

The blonde sighed, playing with the peanut but not actually eating anything. 

“I said I was technically never diagnosed with sociopathy. I never said I don’t suffer from a similar disease.” Draco murmured. 

“What-” Harry started, but the blonde cut him off. 

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Is that a-alright?” he whimpered. Harry looked at his wide, pleading eyes, and only then did he notice the other side of the office. Everything was in boxes. The desk and the floor beneath it were completely clean, the keys were in their locks in their drawers, which were open and empty. 

**_He really thought I would turn him in…_ **

**_But he gave me the evidence anyway?_ **

**_Why?! Why would he do that?_ **

**_What is wrong with him?_ **

**_Does he really not care?_ **

**_How could he not?_ **

Then, Harry remembered Draco’s question and thought back to all the times he had asked Ron to leave something alone, how much it hurt when the red-head kept pressing on. He understood Ron’s perspective more than ever in that moment. After all, Harry was dying to know what ‘illness’ the blonde had, why it didn’t seem to be there when Harry was around, and why Draco was being so careless with his life and freedom. The brunette wouldn’t pressure the blonde, though. 

“Please eat, Harry.” the blonde whispered wetly, gesturing towards Harry’s food “just give me this last happy memory before I go away.” 

The brunette suddenly couldn’t take the scene in front of him anymore. Malfoy was crying. Malfoy, who made Harry breakfast every day, who laughed with him about weird cases, who had held and comforted Harry when the Ron had made him feel like a monster, who understood when to ask about something and when to not, who knew Harry had suspected him, yet didn’t seem upset at the brunette one bit and was being honest. 

Harry ignored all the red flags that this odd encounter was raising. Instead, he followed his gut and it told him to throw himself into the blonde’s arms and beg for forgiveness. But he couldn’t just do that, could he? It would be too weird when neither of them was drunk. Although Draco  **wasn’t** drunk the day before that. Another cute sniffle escaped the small blonde and Harry’s choice was made. He jumped up off his seat and hugged Draco tightly, letting him calm down during the embrace, then pulling away and smiling at him. He wanted to apologize, to say he was wrong and so so sorry and would never do it again, but the words were lodged in his throat. He knew that a simple apology just wasn’t going to cut it. If Draco was telling the truth, and Harry was somehow certain that he was, the brunette’s actions would’ve led to an innocent, sick person being thrown in Azkaban. 

“You're not going anywhere. I-” he started, then was surprised when the blonde beamed at him and instantly said “It’s okay, Harry. I understand.” 

“Thank you.” he said, still shocked at how easy it was to earn the blonde’s forgiveness, then returned to his seat, smiled at Draco, and started eating. 

* * *

The blonde tried his best to seem fine for his mate, who seemed distressed that he had upset Draco. 

_ I can’t believe he  _ **_cares._ **

But Draco wasn’t fine; he was exhausted, in excruciating pain, and couldn’t eat no matter how famished he was. This was the second stage. The blonde could feel it, but didn’t know what had brought it on. What his mate had said the day before about distrusting the blonde and thinking Draco was playing him shouldn’t count. Harry had misunderstood and had been in a bad state when he made those accusations. But, apparently, his inner veela had taken the words to heart and was torturing Draco’s poor body for it. 

He had walked into the office almost sure that Harry would hand him over to the ministry. Draco didn’t care, though. He didn’t care about anything except for the fact that Harry might not want him around. His treacherous mind had somehow come to the conclusion that Azkaban cannot possibly be worse than a life without his mate, so Draco had given the brunette his exaggerated confession. He didn’t technically lie. Draco wasn’t a sociopath; he was a heartbroken veela. But, then, a wonderful thing happened and Harry didn’t report him. He didn’t yell at him. His mate  **wanted** him around; he finally believed him and Draco couldn’t have been more happy about it, except that the symptoms weren’t going away this time. The blonde still felt sad, still couldn’t eat, still believed his mate didn’t really want him around. 

_ Harry has been suspicious of me for weeks and I didn’t notice.  _

_ He has been open and honest and kind, but he thought I was a bad person.  _

_ Maybe he still thought that…  _

Draco’s breath caught in his throat. This was bad. His illness was venturing into uncharted territory. The book he had read all said the same thing: symptoms go away the moment the veela's mates make up with the veela. The only rejection that is permanent, the only one that no veela in history had survived, was an explicit one. In those cases, by the time a mate would realize what had happened, it would be too late and their veela would have committed suicide. 

_ This wasn’t an explicit rejection and Harry and I made up.  _

_ The symptoms should go away.  _

_ I should be fine now.  _

_ Why aren’t I?!  _

Draco knew he had to tell Harry about what was happening. The brunette often said things he didn’t mean, while not paying attention, then took them back. That couldn’t happen anymore. Draco’s life was at risk now that the rejections couldn’t be taken back. The blonde wouldn’t even have to tell Harry that he was the brunette’s mate. He could just pass it off as another weird thing that made Draco’s mysterious illness worse. Harry was so kind. He would help out even if he didn’t understand. 

But, looking at the tired expression on his mate’s face, Draco didn’t have it in him to say anything. He wanted his mate to be happy and calm and Harry wasn’t any of that now. He shouldn’t be wasting time on himself like this. His mate was all that mattered and his mate had been wronged. Clenching his fists tightly, Draco accioed a pen and a notepad from one his boxes, planning out a very interesting ‘run-in’ with the Dursleys for that evening. 

_ No one gets away with hurting my mate.  _


	10. Friends?

Draco had hid it well, but he had been fuming for days. Ever since Emmyl told the blonde that Harry’s relatives had stolen his family money from him, Draco entered this haze where nothing would be alright again until he got justice for his mate. So he had stomped up to the bank employees and asked for the papers to Harry Potter’s account, masquerading as his lawyer. When they asked him to prove it, he cast a confundus on them and they just handed the documents over with a wide smile on their faces. 

From the moment the blonde got the Dursleys’ address, he felt like he had a purpose. So, drunk on the sudden rage he encountered whenever he thought of how sad Harry had been because of his relatives, the blonde banged on the door of Number 4 Privet drive, determined that the criminals inside get what’s coming to them. 

_ No one hurts my mate!  _

A man who looked like a whale with an ugly face opened the door. 

“Vernon Dursley?” Draco asked with the calmest voice he could muster. He wanted to kill the man right away, but he wouldn’t do anything without making sure that he was the one. 

“Yeh, what’s it to you?” the man answered, still chewing on whatever it was he was eating when he answered the door and not bothering to cover his mouth. Draco scowled at him, immediately drawing his wand and holding it between them so it wouldn’t be apparent to by-passers, the tip pointed at the man’s heart. The man’s face suddenly paled and he put both his hands up in cowardice and surrender, backing into the house as Draco advanced, hissing a word with every step. 

“Do You. Happen to know. Of a. Trust. Fund. Left. For.  **Harry Potter** ?!” 

The man’s eyes widened as he shook his head furiously. Draco pushed the tip of his wand upwards, towards the man’s throat. 

“Tread carefully, Vermin” he demanded viciously, “And honestly, or you won’t live to rob more innocent children!”

“Alright!” the man exclaimed, “I do- did. Y-you don’t understand! My baby, Dudley, needed the money!” 

“So. Did. Harry!” the blonde hissed, then whispered words under his breath as he heard the voices of a young man and an older woman screaming at him to please stop, “I’ve just cast a locator charm on you, Vermin. If that money is not back in that account, with the debt paid off, within 24 hours, I will find you and your wife and I’ll rip you both to shreds and force that Dudley of yours to watch. I am sure the money will do him a lot of good then.” 

As he started to retreat towards the door, he heard the woman yell out “Wait! B-but that will b-bankrupt us!” 

“I. Don’t. Care!” he spat, then turned to her, “I am sure your son can get a job with the college you sent him to using  **Harry’s** money!” 

With that, the blonde apparated out of the house and into the manor, still seething with rage until Emmyl showed up with a wide smile. 

“Don’t worry, Draco. I am sure you’re going to be very happy when you tell Harry Potter about those people being put in their place.” the elf said cheerfully, but the blonde panicked and shook his head at Emmyl. 

“I am not telling him anything, and you can’t either. Please, Emmyl.” he said, then bit his lip, “We’ve just become friends. It would be weird if he knows I did this for him. He’ll think I am an obsessed creep. Besides, I don’t care about the credit or him knowing it was me. I just want to see him happy again.” 

Emmyl sent his friend a sad smile then disappeared. Draco didn’t have time to give it much thought, though. A light tap on his window caught his attention. His heart leaped from his chest when he saw that it was Harry’s owl and he quickly gave it a treat and took the letter from it. 

_ Draco,  _

_ I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it, but I can’t help but bring it up. I just feel awful for even thinking about reporting you. I am truly sorry.  _ ~~_ But I didn’t understand why you were being so nice to me. _ ~~ _ Do you really forgive me?  _ ~~_ Or did you just say that to bid your time so it won’t be awkward until you get some kind of approval to stop being my partner? _ ~~ _ I didn’t mean to upset you when I said I wanted to be Ron’s partner, either. I didn’t mean it like that.  _ _ I ~~would actually prefer you to be honest.~~ _ _ I say things without thinking sometimes and I thought you wouldn’t care because, you know, you don’t really feel anything? Anyway, I’d really like for us to be friends. I mean, if you want. I’ll understand if you say no. Ron and Hermione and I are going out for a pint tomorrow after work. I just thought you might like to join us. Let me know. Bye, I guess.  _

_ Harry  _

Draco held the letter close to his chest and sighed. His mate was just so adorable! The blonde was concerned that Harry didn’t believe Draco when he forgave the brunette. He heard the owl hoot and realized he had been thinking about it for quite some time. He instantly grabbed the parchment on the table and started writing, trying not to hide the fact that his hands were shaking. 

_ Harry,  _

_ I did forgive you. You don’t have anything to be sorry for, either way. I understand why you felt that way. Perhaps I would’ve reacted the same way had I been in your shoes. I assure you, I am not mad at you and you don’t need to worry about this any further. I wouldn’t request a transfer; I like having you as a partner as well. (At least that’s what I think you said. It’s hard to read what you wrote when you strike your sentences out). I would love to join you tomorrow.  _

_ Draco Malfoy _

The blonde sent off the letter with a smile on his face, then called Emmyl and read Harry’s letter to the elf, jumping up and down with joy. 

* * *

Harry and Draco were the first to arrive at the Leaky. As soon as they took their seats, people turned their heads and started whispering. 

_ ‘Isn’t that the sociopath who fought for the dark side?’  _

_ ‘What’s Harry Potter doing with him?!’  _

_ ‘Do you think he has him brainwashed?’  _

_ ‘A friend of mine at the Auror department said they’re partners now.’  _

_ ‘Let’s hope the saviour is being careful.’  _

**_Kill me now._ **

Harry tried not to pay attention to them, but he felt uncomfortable under their gaze. It must’ve shown on his face, since Draco quickly touched his knees under the table to bring his attention back to the blonde. 

“Sorry.” the brunette murmured, but Draco quickly shook his head. 

“Why do you come here if they bother you?” 

Harry scoffed, pretending to be offended. 

“They don’t bother me! I am fine. It’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother you.” Draco murmured, then squeezed Harry’s knee in a comforting gesture, then pulled his hand away. “Would you like it if we go somewhere else?” 

‘Is that filthy death eater touching Harry Potter?!’ 

“Don’t you have anything better to do than stare at us?” Harry shouted at the couple who made the last remark. He doesn’t mean to be harsh, but he couldn’t help it. He hated being under the spotlight like this and Draco hadn’t done anything to warrant such scrutiny. The brunette had finally found someone who didn’t belittle his problems or treat him like a god. He didn’t want anyone to drive Draco away. 

Everyone’s eyes instantly left their table and Harry sighed, looking back at the blonde. 

“We can’t leave. It’s Ron’s favorite place.” he said quietly, then was struck by the idea that Draco would think he was a pathetic push-over. He added “and we’re sort of in a fight right now. Well, not really in a fight, but not really talking. So, I didn’t want to upset him with me more.”

To Harry’s surprise and relief, Draco didn’t ask what they were fighting about or call the brunette a push-over. He just nodded along to the conversation then softly said “I am sure you guys will work it out, but if you don’t,  **some people** are not worth keeping around.” 

Harry abruptly sat back and sent a furious glare at the blonde. 

“How can you say that?!” he hissed, “What? You think friends are that dispensable to me? Or - or do you think he’s not worth it because he’s ‘of the wrong sort’?!” 

The blonde seemed to immediately close off and shrink back within himself as the confident, calm, funny Draco was replaced by a whimpering, sad mess. Harry instantly felt bad again. He had forgotten that the blonde was very sensitive. Perhaps he had been too harsh. 

**_I should stop assuming things._ **

**_At least around him._ **

**_But Merlin, his mood changes fast!_ **

“I- I didn’t mean it like that.” the blonde whispered, shaking as he wrapped his arms around himself, “It’s just that you’ve been a bit distressed lately and it’s kind of mean of him to fight with you when you’re already sad.” 

**_I am officially an arsehole._ **

“I’m so sorry, Draco. Please don’t cry.” Harry pleaded, horrified when he noticed that there were tears running down the blonde’s cheeks. Draco brought his hands up to his cheeks and looked surprised that they were wet, then he dabbed at them with a napkin and immediately stopped crying just like that. 

**_Wow._ **

**_I didn’t think just asking him to not cry would work._ **

“I’m sorry you have to put up with this.” the blonde said, looking down at the table and playing with the sleeves of his shirt.

“It’s alright!” Harry said immediately, not wanting this conversation to go on, “I get emotional at times, too. At least you have an excuse. I mean, you can’t really control this, I think.” he finished with a light chuckle, then froze. 

**_What is wrong with me?_ **

**_Here I am bringing up the only topic he asked me not to bring up._ **

**_He hasn’t even mentioned the day I got drunk and stormed in on him._ **

**_He’s that nice_ **

**_And I am that much of an idiot_ **

**_I hope he isn’t too mad._ **

But he wasn’t. Draco was  **giggling** ! Harry thought the sound was kind of cute. 

“I suppose you’re right. I can’t control it. Though that doesn’t stop people from being upset with me because of it.” 

**_I understand that more than you can ever know…_ **

“Do you want to talk about it?” Harry asked with what he hoped was a soft voice. He tended to stammer mindlessly and say the wrong thing whenever he entered a deep conversation. He hoped it wouldn’t happen this time, though. 

Before Draco could respond, Ron and Hermione showed up and silently sat in the booth across from Harry and Draco.The red-head glared at Draco, but wasn’t surprised to see him. Harry guessed that Hermione must’ve told him that Draco was coming. No one said anything for a few seconds, then Hermione broke the silence. 

“Ron and I haven’t had lunch yet. Harry, Malfoy, would you both want to order some as well?” she said, shoving a menu towards Harry who took it with a smile. Draco tilted his head in confusion, not getting the hint. 

“I saw you two eating together when I walked by your office to- ow!” he said, then glared at the witch who had kicked his calf and was gesturing subtly at Harry who was scanning the menu. 

“What about Harry?” the blonde asked, narrowing his eyes in anger. He didn’t like that Hermione and Ron were keeping his mate out of this weird, silent conversation. At that, Harry lowered his menu and caught the wild gesturing going on. 

“What?” he asked. Hermione sighed. 

“Harry, we know that you skip meals when you don’t eat with us at the office.” she said quietly, not looking at him. 

Harry blinked twice, then started going through all his past lunch breaks in his head. He must’ve eaten something! Sure, he didn’t like to eat alone, and he didn’t like cooking, either. He also hated take-out food. Had he really not been eating and not noticing it? Then a horrible thought came to him. 

“Is that why you’ve been letting me tag along?!” he asked, hurt beyond what he could describe, “Because you pity me?” 

“It wasn’t pity, Harry! We’re friends. I noticed that you always ate with us when you came by and Ron said he never sees you eating at home, so I started to make you lunch too. I was going to drop it off at your office, but then you started joining us so…” 

“Mate, it doesn’t upset us.” Ron suddenly added, apparently fed up with his silent war with Harry, “like Mione said, we’re just worried. And we understand what it’s like to be single with couples all around you. That can easily be fixed. Those girls over at the bar have been staring at you non-stop. I know you get a little shy with these things, but you need to start facing your fears or you’ll be alone forever. Ow, Mione! I am just telling him the truth.” 

Ron was rubbing his leg where Hermione had kicked him and she was glaring right back at the red-head, but Draco was focused solely on Harry, who had dropped his menu on the table and felt like he wanted to throw up. When he caught sight of Draco’s concerned expression he groaned and put his head in his hands. 

**_This is humiliating._ **

**_He probably thinks I am a child who can’t feed himself._ **

**_And they think I am a lonely, pathetic, loser who third-wheels on all their dates._ **

**_Did these two have to bring this up now?_ **

“Harry hasn’t been eating with either of you because he and I have been too busy to take lunch breaks. My house elf, Emmyl has been making us breakfast  **and lunch** for the day.” Draco gritted out. Harry sent him a grateful smile, but couldn’t help but wonder what the blonde was angry for. 

“Well, that’s a relief, but I am still telling you mate, that blonde over there wants you. Won’t you go and talk to her?” Ron coaxed and Harry shook his head. 

“I don’t want to.” he said with what he hoped was a firm tone. Clearly it wasn’t firm enough because the red-head started chuckling and got up. 

“Fine. I guess I can get her address for you so you can write her.” Ron said, making a move to the bar, but Draco suddenly held his arm tightly and spoke in a low, cold voice. 

“Harry said he  **doesn’t** want her. Are you deaf?” 

The red-head yanked his arm back and glared at Draco. 

“I think I know my best mate better than you do and it would do him well to come out of this shell he’s put himself in.” 

“Would you stop talking about me like I am not around?” Harry said quietly, “And I am not in a shell. Maybe I actually am seeing someone and I wasn’t telling you because I don’t want your bloody opinion.” 

“I think I have been doing a bloody good job keeping my opinion to myself, mate.” the red-head spat out in fury, “But if you don’t want me to share my thoughts with you, then maybe I should leave.”

“Maybe you should!” 

Harry didn’t even realize he was saying the words until they were out, but he wasn’t going to take them back. He watched as Ron left the place fuming and Hermione hurried after him, trying to calm him down. He sensed Draco getting up and sitting across from him where the couple had been seated. 

“Thank you for, you know, sticking up for me.” the brunette murmured, then looked up at the blonde who had once again recoiled. 

“I-I didn’t know you were seeing someone.” Draco whispered. 

**_What does that have to do with anything?_ **

“I’m not. I just said that so that he would shut up about it.” Harry said slowly, not knowing how else to respond to Draco’s crazy behavior. The blonde, all of a sudden, seemed fine, though, and smiled at Harry as if nothing had happened. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Harry warily asked and the blonde nodded. 

“I am sorry. I know it’s a bit annoying. It takes some getting used to, but if my mood swings bother you, I could just leave-” 

“No.” Harry said immediately, cutting the blonde off, then reached across the table and squeezed his hand, hoping he wouldn’t trigger another weird episode, “stay. Please.” 

Draco smiled and nodded, then asked Harry what he wanted to eat and ordered for the both of them. The brunette noticed that Draco stole a couple of glances at Harry’s fries, so he put a bunch of them on the blonde’s plate. Draco blushed furiously and started stammering ‘thank yous’. Harry sighed, thinking this friendship was one that was  **definitely** worth keeping. 


	11. His Inner Voice

Harry stopped going to lunches. He stopped going down to Karl’s coffee cart. He stopped leaving his office altogether. He didn’t want to, not when Draco was there. The blonde was the highlight of Harry’s day. It also helped that, since that awkward dinner with Ron and Hermione, Draco had started bringing in breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the both of them. So far, neither of them had said anything about it, but on that particular day, Harry wasn’t feeling up to it. He and Ron had run into each other that morning and then, quite awkwardly, turned around and walked off in separate directions without saying a single word to each other. 

“Why aren’t you eating?” the blonde asked, concerned, “You didn’t already have lunch today, did you?” 

**_Is that an accusation?!_ **

“I don’t have to eat with you every day, Draco!” he gritted out, offended, “and it’s none of your business whether I eat or not.” 

The blonde whimpered and Harry sighed. They had been getting closer that week. He had hoped Draco would grow accustomed to his outbursts and know they were nothing personal, but, apparently, that wouldn’t happen anytime soon. 

“I’m sorry.” he said quietly, looking down at his lap in shame, “I didn’t mean that. I just - I guess my mood isn’t at its best today.” 

Draco stopped eating altogether and instantly looked up at the brunette with wide, worried eyes. Harry finally gave in. 

“Ron still isn’t talking to me.” he murmured, but before the blonde could respond, he instantly said, “I do eat, though. I do. They had it wrong. I just - I forget sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with that. And other times, I don’t feel like it. It’s not like I am starving myself or something. They were just overreacting.” 

Draco sighed, reaching over and squeezing Harry’s hand. The brunette looked up at those brilliant silver-blue eyes. He could easily get lost in them forever...

“I know it’s none of my business, but I care about you a lot, Harry. I wish the fact that some moron doesn’t appreciate you didn’t affect your appetite so much. You barely had any breakfast, either. Not that I am keeping tabs or something.” the blonde told him softly. 

“Thanks.” Harry said quietly but made no move to eat. 

**_Ron’s not a moron._ **

**_Unless everyone else is…_ **

**_I mean look at us._ **

**_I’ve barely been friends with you for a week and I am already annoying the hell out of you._ **

“How about I go down to Karl’s cart and get us two lattes? They always cheer me up. I’ll even put caramel on yours.” the blonde said, then stood to leave the office. Harry was on his feet in a second. 

“No!” he shouted, then blushed furiously, “I- I mean no. You don’t have to do that. I’ll go get them for us. It would be nice to have a coffee date. We haven’t done that in ages.” 

Draco, who seemed ready to protest a few minutes earlier, suddenly smiled and nodded enthusiastically. Harry left instantly in case the blonde changed his mind. 

* * *

As soon as his mate walked out of the office, Draco sprinted across the hallway. He had to hurry. Harry wouldn’t accept an apology from Ron if he knew the blonde had pretty much forced him into it. Harry might also be a bit upset at Draco, but how could the veela stand aside while his beautiful, perfect mate suffered? It couldn’t happen. 

“Making it a habit to come into other people’s offices without knocking?” the red-head said as soon as Draco entered, not even bothering to look up from his paperwork. “What do you want, Malfoy?” 

“I want Harry to be happy.” Draco replied instantly, “and you’re getting in my way towards achieving that.” 

The red-head only huffed in annoyance. 

“That’s between me and Harry, so please throw yourself out of my office.” 

_ Don’t underestimate me.  _

_ There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my mate.  _

_ Including working with the likes of you.  _

“I’ll do your paperwork for a month if you go talk to him” the blonde said. 

“Ferret, I am warning you.” the red-head started, but Draco cut him off. 

“Three months.” 

At that, Ron closed his mouth and looked at the table, seeming deep in thought. The blonde quickly took the opportunity. 

“I’ll do it for a whole year.” he said and the red-head pursed his lips, but shook his head. Draco’s heart sank. 

YOU’RE USELESS! 

YOUR MATE IS SUFFERING AND YOU AREN’T HELPING HIM! 

WHY AREN’T YOU HELPING HIM?! 

The blonde covered his ears instantly. They were ringing because of the loud noise. He didn’t know where the shrieking was coming from, but it somehow caused pain to spread all over his body. His ears being covered didn’t help. In fact, it made everything worse. Draco’s heart stopped when he realized the screeching was coming from inside him. 

What is happening to me?! 

“You don’t have to throw a tantrum, Malfoy,” the red-head started, then sighed and asked quietly “You really care about him, don’t you?” 

Draco could only nod, barely hearing Ron over the screeching. 

“I don’t care how much paperwork you do for me. It won’t change the fact that he apparently doesn’t even care what I think anymore.” the red-head said bitterly. 

_ HELP YOUR MATE  _

_ TELL RON TO MAKE IT RIGHT!  _

_ YOUR MATE IS SUFFERING!  _

“Of course he cares!” 

Draco didn’t mean to shout it, but how could he not when his inner voice was so loud? Ron jumped at the volume. The blonde had grabbed his attention. The voice finally stopped shrieking. 

“Of course, he does.” he said again, more calmly than before, “If he didn’t care, then he wouldn’t be devastated that you’re not talking to him! You said you were worried about him. You said you cared. It really doesn’t seem like it.” 

The red-head finally slumped, then huffed out ‘you’re right’ and marched out of his office. Draco peeked into his own office a few minutes later to see that Harry was hugging Ron tightly. They had made up. He sighed in relief, knowing he was successful at making his mate feel better. 

As he walked away to let them talk, he heard the voice again. 

_ DON’T LEAVE MATE!  _

_ NEVER LEAVE YOUR MATE!  _

_ RON HURT HIM!  _

_ YOU CAN’T LEAVE THEM ALONE!  _

He groaned at the voice’s contradicting orders and forced himself to keep walking, knowing that Harry and Ron were having a private moment. 


	12. Only Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm very sorry about how long it took to get this chapter out. Midterms are really taking it out on me and I didn't have time to write. I am going to try to update once a week though even while exams are going on. After that, you can expect more frequent updates again. Enjoy!

Harry was ecstatic. He and Ron had made up and his friendship with the blonde was going well. The only problem? 

**_I think I want more than friendship…_ **

The brunette didn’t know where these strange feelings were coming from. He had never felt them before towards anyone. He just knew that he never wanted to leave the office even after finishing his work. Whenever something happened to him, Harry couldn’t wait to tell Draco about it and see his reaction. Draco would laugh with him if the event was a fun one and comfort him if it was sad. One day, Harry angrily wrote to the blonde about Ginny and Neville’s engagement party, during which every single person there started asking him about his love life and commenting ‘it will happen soon’. He couldn’t believe that ALL his friends were pitying him! And it wasn’t like he could just leave. Ron had insisted that they throw the party in his and Harry’s apartment, assuming the brunette would be fine with it. 

Suddenly, in the middle of night, Harry received a letter with a pen attached to it. 

**_That’s weird._ **

**_It’s one of my pens from the office._ **

_ Harry,  _

_ Forgive me. I found one of your pens in my bag when I returned home from work. Sorry about that. I’ll let you know if I see the others. Today is the engagement party, isn’t it? How’s that going? I hope you’re having fun. _

_ Draco _

**_Why didn’t he just send me the pen right after work?_ **

**_We left the office three hours ago._ **

It was almost like the blonde could sense Harry’s distress, like he purposely chose that time to send the letter so Harry would have someone to vent to. So, that’s exactly what he did. He impulsively poured his heart out to the blonde and sent the letter off with a huff. 

Immediately afterward, he wanted to take it back. 

**_Is he going to laugh at me?_ **

**_Is he going to think I am getting upset over nothing and call me a drama queen?_ **

**_Merlin! Why did I send that letter?!_ **

**_I didn’t even re-read it!_ **

**_I must sound like a complete brat!_ **

Harry scrambled within his mind. He needed to do something to intercept that letter! He was about to write Draco another one, saying that he sent the first letter by accident. But his owl came back within moments, holding another letter. The brunette held his breath as he opened the letter, fearing Draco was making fun of him in it. 

_ Harry,  _

_ That’s awful! I can’t believe they just assumed that you were lonely when it’s actually your choice to be single. I am getting angry just hearing about this. Not everyone needs a partner to be happy. How ignorant of them to think otherwise! I am sorry you had to deal with that. I wish there was something I could do to help. I understand why you can’t just lock yourself in your bedroom and not come out. But I don’t think it would be rude if you left the house because a friend of yours is in distress. I volunteer to be that distressed friend if you would like to do that. The Manor is very spacious, so even if you don’t want to talk right now, you could just come here to be alone. I'd hate to think that you might be so miserable because of the lack of space while all I have here is free space. Ignore them, Harry. Your decisions are your own and you don't need to explain them to anyone, especially people who won't listen. Anyway, the wards will let you in if you decide to drop by and you know where my room is if you want to talk.  _

_ Draco  _

Harry blinked. 

**_He's not upset at me?_ **

**_He doesn't think I'm ridiculous?_ **

**_He doesn't even care that I am whining about some silly problem?_ **

**_He’s inviting me over?_ **

Harry gave the owl a treat but did not give her a letter in response. He didn’t know whether he was actually welcome at the manor or Draco was just being nice. He spared a glance at his ‘friends’ and saw them waving him over. He grimaced. He didn’t want to be around them. He’d been there for three hours already. Wasn’t that enough? He wished he was a guest and not the host. If he was the guest, he would’ve been able to leave without raising suspicion. 

“Who was that, Harry?” Neville asked with a smile and looked like he was about to say something else when Ron spoke up. 

“Let me guess. Malfoy, again?” he said with a look of disgust. Harry’s blood boiled. How dare Ron insult Malfoy? Sure, the red-head was drunk, but that didn’t excuse it. Draco was the only one who made Harry feel like everything would always be alright, who actually listened to the brunette. 

Thinking about the blonde, brunette's heart warmed and he suddenly wished with all his heart that he could be with him in that moment. He needed Draco’s comfort, his understanding. His mouth spoke of its own accord. 

“Actually, it wasn’t Draco.” he said slowly, but firmly, “It was a muggle friend of mine. She kind of needs me right now, guys, sorry. Congrats Gin and Neville.” 

Before any of them could react, Harry swiftly apparated to Malfoy Manor. He found Emmyl and Draco playing muggle chess in the sitting room. The blonde had such a cute expression on his face when he concentrated on something that deeply. Harry found it adorable. He hated to interrupt it, but he needed to alert them to his presence. He cleared his throat. 

Both Draco and Emmyl jumped in surprise and clutched at each other. Harry chuckled. 

“If that’s what you guys plan to do when there’s an intruder, I should be coming over here more often just to protect you.” he said between laughs. “Shouldn’t the wards have alerted you?” 

The blonde blushed and nodded slowly. 

“They should’ve, but I changed them so they wouldn’t alert me to your arrival. I didn’t want to bother you if you wanted to be alone and I would’ve because I would’ve wanted to make you feel better, but, then again, you would’ve come looking for me if you wanted company.” the blonde rambled. 

“That’s really thoughtful of you, Draco. Thank you.” the brunette said, in disbelief of how much trust the blonde had put in him. 

Draco beamed at him and Emmyl jumped up and down in joy, insisting that he make Harry something to eat. 

“I’ve already had dinner at the office. Thank you for always making me food by the way.” he told the excited elf. Emmyl smiled widely then stammered some weird excuse and left the room suddenly. Harry didn’t mind. He didn’t want to talk about what’s upsetting him with Emmyl in the room either way. 

“I am so glad you came, Harry. You’re always welcome here.” Draco said softly then gestured at the chessboard, “Do you want to take over for him?” 

“Yeah sure,” he said, then sat down across from the blonde and moved a piece carelessly, afraid that he was overstepping his boundaries. 

**_They were surprised when I came._ **

**_Does that mean the invitation to come over wasn’t sincere?_ **

**_Oh Merlin, does he think that I am weird now?_ **

“Er- I don’t think you want to make that move unless you want me to win.” the blonde said, chuckling, “This one would be better.” 

Harry felt a spark when Draco suddenly took his hand and guided his piece’s movement across the board. The blonde finished the move but didn’t let go of his hand. Draco just looked up at him lovingly and smiled. “Don’t you think that’s better?” 

“It’s perfect.” Harry said breathlessly, looking into his beautiful silver-blue eyes. 

**_You’re perfect._ **

Draco didn’t push Harry to speak. In fact, the blonde was surprisingly okay with the silence that started after that first chess move. After they were done, Harry glanced at the clock and sighed. It had been an hour. He needed to get back, but he just didn’t want to leave. He wanted to  **always** be with Draco. The blonde was the only one who made him feel… happy. 

Their goodbye handshake lasted a second or two longer than it usually does and Harry’s impulsivity took over. He hugged the blonde tightly, trying to silently convey how much Draco’s friendship meant to him and how much he wanted more… 

As he pulled away, he still didn’t want to leave. He felt like the whole world would stop if he didn’t kiss Draco right at that moment like the blonde would disappear if Harry doesn’t stake his claim. 

**_What am I thinking?_ **

**_I need to get out of here before I do something stupid!_ **

So Harry raced out of there with his heart beating out of his chest. Back at the party, he smiled and spoke to his friends, laughing when he was expected to laugh and responding to questions the way people expected him to, but all the while thinking about a certain blonde. The crazy thing was that being around everyone else just reminded him of how special Draco was; it made him want to be around the blonde more. He kept thinking that maybe he wasn’t crazy. What if Draco shared his feelings? It wasn’t impossible. So, after hours of contemplation, Harry got off his bed with a huff and quickly wrote and sent his letter, afraid that he’d chicken out if he didn’t send it right away. 

  
  
  
  
  


_ Draco,  _

_ Thank you so much for having me over today and just - for everything you’ve done since we met. I really appreciate having you in my life. Your words help me more than you know. I was wondering if you would like to grab a cup of coffee with me tomorrow morning? I understand if your weekends are busy, though.  _

_ Harry  _

The brunette read over the letter four times, ensuring that the wording was safe. If Draco wasn't interested, Harry would claim that the invitation was for a friendly get-together. If he was, though, Harry would go all out and make sure the blonde was satisfied with the date so they could go on another one and another one and another one… 

The brunette bit his lip as he opened the letter that his owl brought back. 

**_It’ll be okay if he says no._ **

**_We don’t have to be more than friends._ **

**_Being his friend has been great._ **

**_I don’t even know if he likes men._ **

**_What was I thinking sending that letter?!_ **

Harry suddenly didn’t want to open Draco’s response for fear of what it might hold. But he knew he had to. 

_ Harry,  _

_ That sounds brilliant. Let me know the time and place and I’ll meet you there! _

_ Draco  _

The brunette suppressed a groan at that. He had really wanted to pick Draco up! But, now that he thought about it, it didn’t really make sense for him to apparate to the Manor just to apparate the blonde to their date. After all, Draco could apparate himself. 

**_Stop being an idiot!_ **

Harry quickly wrote the time and place and sent the letter away before he wrote something embarrassing. When his owl returned with Draco’s letter saying ‘Perfect!’, Harry held the letter close to his chest and sighed in relief. He had finally done it. He had asked Draco out and the blonde had said yes. Now, Harry just needs to make sure the date would be perfect. 


	13. The First Date

After Harry insisted that Draco pick the place, the blonde had decided on a small muggle cafe. The blonde’s mind had initially blanked upon Harry’s request. He didn’t know where he wanted to go… just that he wanted Harry to like the place. He then remembered how upset his mate was when Ron took them to the Leaky. 

_ Harry doesn’t like crowds.  _

_ He also doesn’t like being recognized.  _

_ Maybe we shouldn’t be meeting in the wizarding world at all…  _

So Draco sent his letter with confidence: 

_ Harry,  _

_ I know this little cafe in the muggle world. How about we meet there at 12? _

_ Draco.  _

Harry’s letter had come within what felt like seconds, stating that the brunette agreed. 

The blonde felt a twinge at that. He wanted to show Harry off to the world. He wanted every potential partner to see that Harry was his and his alone. He wanted everyone to see that he had the best, kindest, smartest, most perfect mate, better than those of all the other veelas. 

He shoved all those longings down. 

_ It’s just my stupid veela side.  _

_ Harry doesn’t like it in the wizarding world.  _

_ He would also hate it if I flaunt him the way I want to.  _

_ Nothing really matters except Harry and what he wants.  _

So, he gave Harry the address and went to bed. After all these logistics were sorted, though, Draco was left with one very important question. 

_ Is this a date?  _

His inner veela had decided that it was and was already picking out wedding suits. 

_ YOUR MATE WANTS YOU! _

_ YOUR MATE IS GOING TO COURT YOU!!  _

_ YOU’RE GOING TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER! _

But the blonde’s more logical side knew it wasn’t that simple. Was Harry even gay? Did he even like Draco that way? He knew he would probably spend half the night pondering the issue. But then the shrieking came back, worse than it ever was before. It almost completely deafened him. 

_ STOP QUESTIONING MATE!  _

_ WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?  _

_ MATE IS PERFECT!  _

_ HIS IS COURTING YOU!  _

_ DON'T DRIVE HIM AWAY _

_ DON'T DRIVE HIM AWAY _

_ DON'T DRIVE HIM AWAY _

Draco curled up into a ball, sobbing his eyes out on his bed. The voices were loud enough to be painful and he didn’t know how to make them stop. He didn’t know what he did to set them off. He wasn’t even questioning Harry’s motives, just surprised by his request and wondering what it meant. Apparently, his inner veela would wreak havoc on him if he even considers the option that this might not be a date. 

The next day, he went to the cafe five minutes early. The moment he walked through the door, he saw Harry already sitting there, nervously fidgeting with his jacket sleeves. The brunette dressed casually, in plain dark blue jeans and a black shirt and jacket. Draco thanked god for it. At least he hadn’t gotten it wrong when it came to the dress code for that morning. 

Harry’s head snapped up as soon as he heard Draco’s approaching footsteps. He smiled widely, seeming a bit less nervous than he initially was. The shrieking inside Draco’s head died out entirely upon seeing his mate smiling at him. 

The blonde smiled back and slowly walked over. 

The brunette shot up out of his seat with his hand sticking out at Draco. 

“Th-thanks for coming, Draco.” the brunette stammered then blushed furiously. 

_ So, this  _ **_is_ ** _ a date.  _

The blonde held himself back from jumping up and down with joy. 

_ He wants me!  _

_ He finally wants me!  _

“Of course I came, Harry.” he said quickly, willing himself not to squeal in delight. 

After a handshake that lasted longer than it should’ve, the brunette diverted his gaze and sat back down. Draco couldn’t stop staring at Harry for the life of him. His mate, who was now redder than the Gryffindor uniform, was just too adorable. 

“So, what are you going to have?” Harry asked at the same time as Draco said “You look really nice, Harry.” 

The brunette’s eyes widened and he blushed furiously. 

“D-do you really mean that?” he said in one breath with a raised eyebrow, then seemed to have heard himself and choked then quickly said "I - I mean thank you. I meant thank you. You too, Draco." 

"I do mean it, Harry." The blonde said, then smiled and looked down at the menu, giving the brunette space just in case Harry needed it. 

"I'll have a latte. Would you like to order for the both of us this time as well." the blonde asked then chuckled lightly. Harry blushed. 

"No. It's fine when we're outside the office,” the brunette said, then ordered for both of them anyway and winked at Draco.

“Are you ever going to tell me why you do that?” he asked and Harry burst out laughing. 

“What?” Draco asked with a huff. 

“It’s so weird. You’re always observant of everything. I can’t hide anything from you, but this...It’s obvious enough that even  **I** noticed it, and you’re still clueless.” Harry said with a smile, “but it’s good weird. I wish I could just not care when people don’t like me.” 

_ What is he talking about?  _

“You’re saying Karl won’t serve me on purpose, that he has some kind of grudge against me?” Draco asked in a serious tone as he felt the signs of his inner veela not being pleased. And, sure enough, the shrieking started again. 

_ YOUR MATE HAS BEEN PROTECTING YOU!  _

_ YOU HAVE BEEN EXHAUSTING HIM!  _

_ HE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS!  _

_ NO WONDER HE DIDN'T WANT YOU UNTIL NOW.  _

Harry's lips were moving. His beautiful green eyes were concerned. He looked beyond worried about Draco, but didn’t seem to notice the voice. 

_ I must be the only one who can hear it, then.  _

_ At least it’s not external.  _

_ That would really freak Harry out.  _

The blonde wanted to answer him, to make him feel better, to reassure him that everything was alright, that he was enjoying their date. He couldn't say a single thing. The voices were too loud. His head was throbbing. He needed to leave. He couldn't stay if he was going to be a bad date. He wanted their first date to be perfect. 

"I-I'm sorry, H-Harry. I need to l-leave." he said quietly, then stood from his seat. 

_ NO!  _

_ DON'T LEAVE YOUR MATE _

_ YOUR MATE ASKED YOU OUT!  _

_ HE WON'T DO IT AGAIN.  _

_ THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!  _

_ Oh Merlin, What do you expect me to do? Stay and keep him company while you're screeching at me?!  _

" P-please don't!" Draco heard Harry's voice call out through the painfully loud voices, "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, bringing that up. Please stay. We were having a good time until just now. I hope I didn't ruin it." 

_ YOU’RE MAKING YOUR MATE FEEL BAD!  _

_ STOP IT!  _

Draco closed his mouth to stop a hiss of pain from escaping. It wasn’t enough that the voices were screaming at him. He could feel agony beyond any pain he had ever felt before. It was like he was being stabbed over and over again. The blonde sat back down anyway. He didn’t want Harry to feel guilty. Draco had to stay. 

“Y-you didn’t r-ruin anything. It’s j-just a part of my condition.” he stammered out, then was surprised to find that the pain was lessening. The blonde looked down to find that his palms were bleeding badly. It didn’t feel anywhere near as bad as the pain inflicted on him by his veela side. 

_ Thank god.  _

_ It’s quiet now.  _

_ I can think.  _

_ I can focus on Harry.  _

_ If all it takes is a minor injury to get my veela side to shut up, I’ll happily oblige every time.  _

“I am sorry about that.” he said with a genuine smile, looking up at the brunette’s worried gaze, “Where were we?” 

The brunette looked like he was going to answer, having calmed down considerably, but, as Draco reached for the tissues on the table, Harry panicked again. 

“Draco, what happened to you?” Harry asked, then shot out of his seat and grabbed both of the blonde’s hands and forced them open, only to wince at the sight of the blood and the crescent-shaped scars forming on the inside of Draco’s palms. “Come on, we’re leaving. I have healing potions at home.” 

“No. They’re just a few shallow scratches, Harry,” the blonde insisted, shaking his head. “I am feeling better and I don’t want to cut the date short.” 

The brunette looked around the cafe and sighed. Draco didn’t realize what was upsetting Harry until he followed his gaze. Everyone’s eyes were on them. 

_ Harry hates it when people do that.  _

“It’s okay. You don’t have to help me. I’ll go back to the manor and Emmyl will take care of it.” the blonde said softly. Harry nodded, but still seemed sad. 

_ YOU’VE RUINED YOUR DATE!  _

_ HE’LL NEVER ASK YOU OUT AGAIN _

_ BAD VEELA!  _

_ HORRIBLE VEELA!  _

Draco gritted his teeth and tightened his fists again, not even realizing he was doing either of those things until the screaming stopped and he could clearly hear Harry’s frantic voice. 

“Please stop, Draco!” the brunette pleaded. “You’re making it worse. Stop” 

Harry pried the blonde’s finger away from the wounds on his palms, then held both Draco’s hands tightly in his own and pulled the blonde into the alley, apparating them both to Malfoy Manor. He didn’t let go of Draco’s hands. 

“Thank you, Harry.” Draco whispered, trying to pull his hands away from the brunette’s. Harry only tightened his hold. 

_ STOP GETTING BLOOD ON MATE.  _

“C-can I stay? Please? You really hurt yourself, and I can’t help but feel like it was my fault-” 

“It wasn’t!” Draco insisted, internally cursing himself. He wasn’t even aware of what he had been doing when he dug his nails into his palms. He just knew it got his inner veela to be quiet. “I swear it, Harry. Please don’t feel bad or - or the need to stay if you don’t want to…” 

“I do want to!” the brunette said quickly, then sat Draco down on the couch and called for Emmyl. The elf came and instantly panicked upon seeing the blood. He left and came back with three different kinds of healing potions, which he insisted on applying himself. Harry smiled, let the elf do all the healing, and went into the kitchen with no explanation. 

The blonde heaved a sigh of relief when the brunette was no longer in sight. He turned to Emmyl with wide, pleading eyes. 

“Emmyl, s-something is wrong w-with m-me.” he sobbed out quietly, not wanting Harry to hear him and rush back into the room. The elf looked up immediately, having already sealed the wounds and applied salve to them. 

“What’s wrong, Draco?” his big eyes radiating concern. 

“I-I don’t know.” The blonde wailed trying to keep himself from being too loud. Merlin knows what his inner veela would do to Draco if Harry comes back and becomes upset by the blonde’s tears. 

“Don’t worry, Draco. We’ll find out together. I’ll get every single book there is on this and we’ll go through them. We’ll get to the bottom of this, I promise.” the elf said firmly, squeezing the blonde’s hand. Draco nodded in thanks, but was still frightened and anxious. 

Harry came back minutes later with two coffees, exactly the kind they had ordered at the cafe. 

“I thought we’d just move it here.” he said, then added quickly, “Is that okay?” 

Draco smiled widely. 

“Yes. Thank you very much, Harry. It’s perfect.” he said as he took a sip of the latte Harry had made. 

They remained like that for two minutes in comfortable silence, sitting across each other on the couch with wide smiles and sparkling eyes, sipping their coffees. Until...

“You don’t have to tell me.” Harry said suddenly. “But, is there anything I can do?” 

The blonde was just about to say he was fine and didn’t need anything, when a familiar voice whispered in Harry’s ear, “Offer to stay over. He doesn’t want to be alone tonight.” 

The brunette’s head jerked and he looked at the source of the voice. Emmyl had put an invisibility charm on himself. Harry smiled, cleared his throat, and really hoped he wouldn’t be misunderstood. 

“I can stay over. If you don’t mind, just to make sure you’re okay, you know. We don’t have to-” 

“That sounds lovely.” the blonde said with a huge smile.

Later that night, as they laid a whole meter apart on Draco’s bed, since Harry had insisted on not leaving the blonde alone, Draco’s inner veela started shrieking again. 

_ HE DOESN’T WANT TO TOUCH YOU!  _

_ BECAUSE YOU RUINED THE DATE.  _

_ HE DIDN’T EVEN KISS YOU AFTER.  _

_ YOU SHOULD BE BETTER FOR HIM.  _

The blonde resisted the urge to dig his nails into his palms or arms and laid there crying softly, wondering what was happening to him. 

  
_ At least I have Harry. _


	14. What Happened Yesterday?

“What happened yesterday?” Harry asked softly, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had been surrounding them both for about ten minutes as they ate breakfast. Draco’s fork stopped in midair, then the blonde put it down, sighing and suddenly looking nervous. Harry felt guilty about bringing it up, but he had to! He was freaking out. He knew he should be more patient and give Draco space. It was what the blonde had always done for him, after all. But Harry just wasn’t wired that way. He couldn’t just know that something was wrong with Draco and not ask what it is or not even try to make him feel better. Suddenly, he respected Draco more than ever before for giving the brunette space when he needed it, not that Harry was going to do the same now. He needed to help! 

Draco had hurt himself. It wasn’t a deep wound, but he had dug his fingernails into his palms until he bled. If that wasn’t bad enough, he completely waved off Harry when the brunette suggested that they should get his hands healed. Harry was beyond worried. He felt Draco shift around a thousand times last night, but the brunette refrained from rolling over to the blonde’s side and holding Draco. They weren’t there yet, but that didn’t mean that Harry would just be okay with Draco hurting himself. 

“It’s kind of complicated, Harry,” the blonde said, looking down at his plate. He hadn’t looked Harry in the eye since after their ‘date.’ He continued, “Do we have to talk about it right now?” 

“Yes!” Harry said instantly without thinking it through. He wanted to slap himself when Draco recoiled and flinched at the loud response. Speaking more quietly, Harry explained “I am sorry, Draco. I-I know that you don’t want to talk about it, but you really scared me yesterday and-” 

The brunette was cut off by a slight hiss of agony that the blonde tried to cover with a cough but failed. Harry’s eyes widened. Draco’s face was contorted in pain and his hands were starting to clench into fists again. The brunette instantly reached out and grabbed both of them, not knowing what else to do. 

**_What’s happening to him?_ **

**_Oh, God, what do I do?_ **

**_Should I take him to a healer?_ **

**_How often does this happen?_ **

The blonde’s features softened again as Harry’s hands squeezed his. The brunette furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Does touching him lessen the pain somehow or was it something else that made Draco’s...episode go away? 

“What can I do?” he asked, tightening his grip and rubbing Draco’s knuckles with his thumbs. His heart sank when Draco started shaking his head, but he sighed in relief upon hearing the blonde’s next words. 

“Nothing. You don’t have to do anything. Just having you here helps.”

“If that were true, you wouldn’t be in pain at all,” Harry joked, then groaned when Draco recoiled again. He closed his eyes, sighed, and was just about to let go of Draco’s hands and demand that they go to a healer. The blonde’s next words stopped him in his tracks. 

“It happens when you’re angry with me,” he heard Draco murmur. His eyes snapped open instantly and he gaped at the blonde, waiting for an explanation that never came. 

“What did you just say, Draco?” he asked as gently as he could. He must’ve misheard that, right? Why would he suffer because Harry was upset? Harry wasn’t even upset at him! 

“M-my condition makes me very...sensitive. You’re very important to me, Harry. When I make you mad-”

“But I am not angry with you!” Harry said frantically. Had he not been holding the blonde’s hands, he would’ve shook the blonde to try to get some sense into him. Why would he think that Harry was mad? When did the brunette ever insinuate that?! 

“Draco, I am telling you that you didn’t make me angry in any way. Does that make you feel better?” Harry asked, not knowing what else to say or do to make Draco’s suffering disappear. 

“I know,” the blonde said quietly, then continued when he noticed that the brunette only looked more confused, “I-I mean, I know, but I don’t really know. It’s complicated, Harry. I-I think my illness has taken a turn for the worse.” 

Harry’s chest clenched at the blonde’s words and at the look of sheer despair on Draco’s face. He wanted to help Draco like Draco had been helping him. He wanted to take his pain away, but none of the blonde’s words made any sense to Harry. How could he help fix a problem when he didn’t even know what it was?! Then, it hit him. 

**_Hermione!_ **

**_She is a trained professional._ **

**_Surely, she can help Draco._ **

Harry smiled widely as the idea came to him. Hermione would find a way to solve this. She always found a way. In fact, the young witch was known for her determination when it came to the ‘mystery medical field’. Of course, those mystery cases almost always turned out to be some kind of curse that the patient hadn’t been aware of, but, surely, Hermione could also find out how to cure whatever disease Draco had as well. 

As soon as the brunette suggested this to Draco, though, the blonde looked absolutely frightened as he shook his head frantically. Draco pulled away from Harry entirely and wrapped his arms around himself. 

“No. Please, Harry, don’t tell her. Promise me you won’t tell her about any of this. Emmyl and I are going to look into it. I’ll let you know if we find anything, but please...I can’t stand researchers or healers and how they poke at their newest patients to ‘study them.’ I-if this bothers you a lot, I’d understand if you don’t want to stick around.” 

As soon as the blonde had finished his statement, he balled his hands into fists again. 

“No!” Harry said instantly, then more calmly “No. I don’t want to. This doesn’t bother me, Draco, honest. Or, it does, but not for the reasons you’re thinking. I-I just hate the fact that you’re in pain. I just want you to get better, alright? It’s not about my comfor-”

“Of course it is!” Draco suddenly screamed, interrupting Harry. The brunette jerked back at the sudden change of Draco’s tone. The blonde seemed just as surprised judging by how his eyes widened. Draco shook his head slightly, took a deep breath, then continued in a more composed tone: “What I mean is that your comfort is very important to me. I don’t want you to feel bad or guilty or whatever negative emotion you have right now. I can tell that you’re upset, Harry. A-and it was me who upset you-”

“No. It wasn’t!” 

“Me...my illness. It’s the same thing,” the blonde said bitterly, then buried his face in his arms. Harry didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t want to suggest healers or pester Draco for details again. The brunette remained sullen and quiet for a few minutes before determination shone in his eyes. Maybe talking just wasn’t the answer. Draco wasn’t going to give him any useful answers anyway. Harry was a bit upset that the blonde wouldn’t confide in him, but, deep down, he understood. Everyone had things they’d rather not talk about. Harry hated it when people forced things out of him. Why was he doing the same thing now? 

**_I’ll find a way to help you._ **

**_You may think I can’t, but I might surprise you._ **

**_I just need to watch out for the signs and avoid somehow making you think that I am mad at you._ **

**_Somehow..._ **

**_If nothing I do works, I’ll have to go to Hermione._ **

**_I know you won’t appreciate it at first, but she’s brilliant._ **

**_She’ll take one look at you and figure out what’s wrong in an instant._ **

**_You’ll see._ **

“We should probably get to work.”

Harry was snapped out of his thoughts by Draco’s choked voice, which was followed by the blonde getting off his chair and moving towards the door. He sighed and nodded sullenly, noticing that the blonde had barely eaten anything on his plate. He briefly thought of asking Emmyl to pack up some food so the brunette could casually lure Draco into a breakfast date in the office, but then decided against it. He wanted to be more upfront than that. He didn’t want to be like Hermione and Ron, worrying from the sidelines without saying anything.

“Do you mind if we stay for a bit longer so you could finish eating? I am sure Robards won’t mind,” he asked softly. 

The blonde looked puzzled for a moment before he asked “Would that make you happy, Harry?” 

**_What kind of question is that?_ **

**_Is this another ‘complicated’ fact that he won’t explain to me?_ **

**_Ok. Give your simplest answers, Harry._ **

“Er...Yeah. It would.”

To his surprise, the blonde perked up immediately, sat back down, and began digging into his food. Harry smiled at him, but his heart radiated concern. It didn’t make sense that the blonde could be miserable one second then ecstatic the next. He needed to understand what was happening. He had to talk to Hermione about it the next day. He knew it was a breach of privacy, but he hoped Draco would never find out.


	15. What's wrong with the veela?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important note: Chapter 14 has been changed entirely. I'd suggest you go back and read it before moving forward so you won't be lost.

“What did he say exactly, Harry?” Hermione asked for what seemed to be the hundredth time as Harry paced around Ron’s office. 

“I already told you, ‘Mione. He explicitly said he wasn’t a sociopath, then he just...I don’t know how to describe it. He just started balling his hands. He seemed in pain and he said it happens whenever he thinks I am angry at him. It stopped when he started to bleed. It also seemed to stop when I grabbed his hand-”

“Oi, what the hell are you holding hands with Malfoy for anyway?” Ron asked, narrowing his eyes at Harry. The brunette froze on the spot. This wasn’t how he wanted his friends to find out he was gay. He also didn’t want the conversation to divert from its main focus; they needed to find a way to help Draco. This wasn’t the time for any revelations. 

“I-er- I told you, Ron! He was hurt. I wanted to stop him,” Harry replied, hoping he sounded convincing. He didn’t need any accusations thrown his way right now. After the red-head grunted in acknowledgment of what Harry was saying, the brunette sighed, looked at Hermione, and asked hopefully “So...er...what’s his diagnosis and how do we fix it?” 

The witch’s eyes snapped up to meet his. Harry squirmed as she glared at him for ten whole seconds with her mouth agape. 

“You’re joking, right?” she finally asked. Harry shook his head. 

**_What kind of question is that?_ **

**_How could this possibly be a joke?_ **

Hermione huffed and rolled her eyes. 

“Honestly, Harry. Do you really think I could figure out what’s wrong with him in a single second and cure him before he goes home for the day?” she asked in an indignant voice. 

“No!” Harry answered, suddenly feeling ridiculous, then murmured “I was kind of hoping you’d cure him by lunch.” 

“That is absolutely not how my field works, Harry. You should know that better than anyone. How would you feel if someone gave you a mystery case that apparently could not be solved before and expected you to just have it solved within an hour?” 

“I’m sorry. You’re right. You’re right. I know I am being a bit...unreasonable, Mione, but he was in so much pain. I really want to help him,” Harry said, feeling bad, then asked, “How long do you reckon it'll take if you agree?“ 

“I am not sure, Harry. I’ll be more certain once I speak to him,” she said confidently, giving the brunette a smile, though what she just said was causing Harry’s heart to beat out of his chest. 

“Er...well, what if he doesn’t want to speak to you? Could you still figure out what’s wrong with him then?” Harry asked, fidgeting with his hands nervously, sure that Hermione was just about to explode at him. To his surprise, she didn’t. 

“I mean...I would understand why given the symptoms you’ve listed. Perhaps I can give you a set of questions to ask him, then.” 

**_That will only make him pull away from me more._ **

**_I want to help him, but I don’t want to lose him in the process!_ **

**_He’s too important to me._ **

“No. That won’t work, either,” Harry murmured to himself, looking at the ground. Hermione’s loud words snapped him out of his thoughts. 

“What are you on about, Harry? Are you really suggesting that I explore and treat an illness I know nothing about without seeing the patient even once? I cannot do such a thing.” 

**_What?_ **

**_No._ **

**_You have to say yes._ **

**_He won’t go to anyone else and he says he is getting worse._ **

Apparently, Harry’s devastation showed on his face, because Hermione’s face had softened and her words had a more gentle tone when she started to speak again. 

“Harry, he has, presumably, been living this way his entire life. He is probably used to it by now. I know a life of pain doesn’t seem like one that could ever be good, but the human body can adapt to so many things, you’d be astonished. He probably doesn’t suffer as much as he used to anymore.”

Harry frowned deeply at her words. Was that supposed to make him feel better? Knowing that his sweet, kind, thoughtful partner has been in so much pain for such a long time that his body just got used to it? He was sure the blonde was still suffering and that caused Harry’s chest to clench. 

“Hermione, please. He means a lot to me, alright? I know he might have gotten used to his condition, but if there is something, anything, that could help him, I want to know so I could help him,” Harry begged, not knowing how else to convince the witch. He thought he heard Ron snorting and saying ‘Careful there buddy or people might start thinking you’re gay for ‘im.’ He ignored the red-head and kept trying to stare Hermione down. She seemed to absorb what he said and nodded slightly. Harry sighed in relief. 

“I can’t do anything for him, Harry, at least, not directly,” the witch said, but continued quickly when Harry slumped against the wall in defeat and seemed ready to leave the room, “ **But** , what I can do is tell you a few things that could help prevent future episodes.” 

“That sounds great! Tell me everything,” the brunette said, smiling widely. Hermione sighed. 

“This isn’t going to be easy, Harry. Doing any one of those things in the wrong manner can result in another episode. If you’re sure, get a pen and paper and write down every single thing I say. And, yes, the details are important. We’re going to need to convince Draco’s subconscious that he’s the best person in the world in your eyes.” 

* * *

Draco was ready to apologize for being so moody that morning. Surely, he must’ve scared Harry off. No one took that long to borrow a pen. The blonde had a perfect view of Ron’s office from his chair, but the brunette had shut the door. 

_Who shuts the door to borrow a pen?_

_He was trying to get away from me._

_I know it._

_I can’t blame him._

_What was I thinking telling him that?!_

_‘It happens when you’re angry with me.’_

_He must think I am some clingy, pathetic loser now._

_This is all your fault, you stupid veela._

_If you hadn’t started screeching at me-_

Draco was snapped out of his thoughts when he saw that Harry was exiting Ron’s office and quickly making his way over to their own office a bit slowly, looking a bit nervous. Once he noticed that Draco could see him, though, he smiled widely and hurried into the office. 

“I feel like going into the muggle world for some pastries. Care to join me? Or is it too early for a second date?” the brunette asked with the same wide smile. Draco nodded happily, forgetting all about the long speech of apologies he had prepared. The creature inside him was jumping up and down in pure joy. The blonde sighed in relief, somehow knowing that his inner veela would not bother him in the near future. If Harry just kept doing things like this...Draco might just be alright. The blonde couldn’t be sure, though. He didn’t know what was wrong with his inner veela, after all. 

“Of course I would!” he said cheerfully when he realized he hadn’t answered the brunette yet. He then jumped off his chair, took off his Auror robes, and threw them on his desk. He blushed deeply when he felt Harry interlocking his left arm with Draco’s right one. 

“Aren’t you afraid someone might see us?” he asked before they exited their office, then smiled when Harry shook his head with a blush. 

“No. Who cares if they see? It’s none of their business. Besides, they’ll all know sooner or later. I don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon.”

With that Harry pulled Draco out of the office and shut the door behind them. The blonde noticed the glares he was getting from everyone around them, but he didn’t care. He was more worried about Harry and his sudden surge in confidence. The blonde was almost certain that Harry hadn’t told anyone about his sexuality. Why would he do and say these things right now? 

_Is he...trying to make me feel better?_

_That’s so sweet of him, but I don’t want him to be uncomfortable._

_I have to say something._

Before he could utter Harry’s name, the blonde felt a dark presence inside of him and somehow just knew that the veela would wreak havoc on him if he so much as said a single word about Harry’s behavior or disrupted their second date. But...that couldn’t be, right? His inner veela loved Harry more than anyone else in the world. The veela was supposed to put his mate’s needs ahead of everyone else’s, even its own. Was his veela somehow defective? 

“Is everything alright?” He heard the brunette ask. Draco’s head snapped up and he looked around. They were in the alley. Harry had already apparated them to the muggle world and Draco hadn’t even noticed it. The blonde wanted to kick himself for not paying attention to Harry. The veela business would have to wait. He had an amazing second date to get to. 

“I’m fine. Let’s go before our lunch break ends,” Draco said, then grabbed Harry’s hand and quickly dragged him into the nearest pastry shop.


	16. You Don't Have to

“You know you don’t need to do that,” Draco said slowly as he took out another pink, folded note from the inside of his drawers. This one read:

_ Fact#23: You’re the only one in the world that makes me feel like everything will truly be okay in my life. When I'm having a terrible day and I don't want to do anything, I remember that you'll be here when I get to the office, and that's all the motivation I need. _

“That goofy smile on your face tells me otherwise,” Harry responded with a chuckle. They were sitting across from each other at Draco’s desk at the office, enjoying their daily “breakfast in the office” date. The brunette stopped laughing when Draco sighed.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, afraid he had somehow messed up the compliment. 

“I-I don’t want you to feel the need to change for me…” Draco started, looking down at the note. He felt a slight warning from the veela, but pressed on, nonetheless, “These are very sweet and so are the dates and the fact that you haven’t said anything about the stolen desk supplies in my drawers, but I just don’t want you to go through that much trouble.”

Harry started to look uncomfortable with the conversation as he played with his utensils and averted his gaze from Draco as he spoke. 

“I am not changing myself for you. These are just things you do when in a relationship. I cherish your presence a lot and am expressing myself in a different way. Maybe it seems like I changed, but this is just me as your boyfriend as opposed to me as your friend,” Harry said slowly, still not looking at Draco, furrowing his eyebrows in concentration. 

_ Why does he sound so robotic? _

_ And why isn’t he looking at me?  _

_ Since when does Harry know what “Cherish” means?  _

“Are you...Did you memorize that in case I bring this up?” Draco asked instantly, almost certain that the answer would be a yes. Harry suddenly looked like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“N-no! What reason could I possibly have for doing that?!” Harry asked rather loudly, then chuckled nervously to himself. Draco wasn't having it, though. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, leaned back in his chair, crossed his legs, and stared Harry down. 

It only took a single minute for the brunette to snap. 

“Alright! Alright! I read it in a book about compromising in relationships,” he said with a huff, crossing his arms in front of his chest as well and glaring at the ground, furious at the fact that he got caught. Draco smiled widely at how adorable his mate was when he was angry, but then shook his head. This wasn’t the time. 

“You hate these kinds of things!” 

Harry looked up at the blonde with a sigh. 

“I know, but you like them,” the brunette said in an exasperated tone, then added quietly, “Need them, in fact.” 

“I knew it! I knew you were just doing this because of this stupid illness,” Draco said, more so he could make a point to his inner veela than to ask Harry to stop. 

“Yeah, so what? I don’t mind, Draco. I-I want to give you what you need and Hermione said-” the brunette started, then clamped a hand over his mouth, his eyes widening, presumably because of what he just said. Draco’s facial expression suddenly turned furious. The blonde whispered a silencing spell before he started to yell. 

“You told her? After I explicitly told you not to?” Draco snapped, getting up off his chair and yelling at Harry loudly. The brunette wore a shocked expression on his face and so did Draco. The blonde wasn’t aware that he could feel anything but love for his mate, but, in that moment he felt angry and betrayed. Of course, his inner veela had to remind him that being mad at Harry just wasn’t an option. 

_ WHAT ARE YOU DOING? _

_ WHY ARE YOU QUESTIONING MATE? _

_ WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT MATE? _

_ YOU’RE MAKING HIM INSECURE!  _

_ WHY ARE YOU SO HORRIBLE TO HIM?!  _

Harry’s hands were on Draco’s in an instant, realizing that the blonde was having an episode. He squeezed Draco’s hands tightly and firmly, keeping the blonde’s palms open and preventing him from hurting himself like last time. Draco’s silver eyes found Harry’s green ones and found that, in that moment, though the brunette was comforting him, he felt nothing but resentment towards both the veela AND Harry. 

_ What?! I can’t be angry with him?! _

_ I told him not to say anything.  _

_ He betrayed my trust.  _

_ What’s worse than that is that he’s preventing me from  _ **_shutting you up!_ **

_ STOP IT!  _

_ STOP RESENTING MATE!  _

_ IT’S NOT MATE’S FAULT YOU MADE A BAD IMPRESSION!  _

_ NOT HIS FAULT YOU’RE A BAD PERSON.  _

_ YOU DON’T DESERVE MATE!  _

_ ONLY VEELA DESERVES MATE.  _

_ You’re making him cry… _

Draco blinked at the sudden peaceful feeling erupting inside him as the veela stopped torturing him, clearly not wanting to upset its mate anymore. It was a long shot. He didn’t think anything would shut his veela up, but this did. He was starting to doubt that all his veela side wanted was for Harry to be happy, starting to suspect that all the veela truly wanted was for Harry to be his, regardless of the consequences. Draco was afraid the veela could go as far as to harm Harry, but he was now more reassured that his creature side didn’t want to see Harry upset. Even if it did, later on, it just can’t hurt Harry. Draco was the one in control of his body, after all. 

“I am sorry I told her, ple-” the blonde heard Harry say breathlessly and remembered the situation at hand. 

“Let go of my hands,” the blonde said coldly, but Harry shook his head, tears still streaming down his face. 

“I’m not sorry I told her, alright? You’ve been doing well for a whole week, Draco. You haven’t had an episode in so long. She doesn’t even know what’s wrong with you. She only knows that you get bouts of pain sometimes. That’s all, alright? And if you really didn’t want me to compromise, you would’ve let me take you to a healer. Otherwise, what the bloody hell am I supposed to do? Stand back and watch as you fall apart? I won’t do that, especially not when you always go out of your way to make me feel...special, I guess. I’ve never really felt like I fit this well with someone before and I wouldn’t want to continue a relationship that causes someone nothing but pain, while the other person is happy,” the brunette stated firmly, irritation clear in his voice, then continued more quietly “I don’t want to hurt you. So, if that’s how you want it to be, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” 

Draco closed his eyes tightly preparing himself for the worst shrieking sounds imaginable. To his surprise, his inner creature said, and did nothing. Did Harry just kill it? Was it really gone, just like that? The blonde searched within himself and found that his inner veela’s emotions were no longer influencing his judgment. He could finally see and think clearly. He looked at the brunette, who was waiting anxiously for a response and had stopped crying. There was no denying that what Harry had done was more sweet and considerate than enraging, but Draco was still pissed. He only knew one thing for sure: he didn’t want to break up with Harry. 

“I don’t want to break up,” he said firmly, “We’ll talk eventually, but I am still mad at you. I’d like some space for now.” 

Harry nodded and rolled his chair away and into his own desk across the room from Draco. That was, technically, the most space he could give the blonde given the constraint of them sharing an office. Draco sighed and got to work, finished all the reports needed within the hour, then grabbed his bag and left without another word. 

As soon as he stepped foot outside the Auror department building, his veela made a reappearance. There was no shrieking or loud noises this time. Instead, Draco felt like he was being boiled alive. His entire body burned with a sudden, intense, suffocating heat that he couldn’t get rid of no matter what he tried to tell his veela. 

_ He didn’t break up with us.  _

_ I told him I wanted to stay together.  _

_ I didn’t do anything wrong!  _

_ Why are you torturing me?!  _

He got no response, only more pain. He could barely keep his focus long enough to apparate to the manor so he wouldn’t draw any attention to himself. It wasn’t enough to prevent him from splinching himself, though. As the blood flowed down Draco’s upper arm and he heard Emmyl scream then felt the elf applying healing salves on his body, he found that he no longer felt the intense burning. He didn’t even feel the massive cut on his left upper arm. He felt absolutely nothing. 


	17. When They Become One

For three weeks after their fight, Draco had a pattern. He’d wake up, be tormented by his veela, go to work and spend some amazing, calming quality time with his boyfriend during which he’d do something that the veela would start tormenting him for the moment he stepped foot outside of work. The veela would never torture Draco if he and Harry were together, though. So, the blonde had suggested they go out more frequently, which Harry happily agreed to. The brunette sometimes slept over after their nighttime dates, but they still weren’t past the kissing phase. Veelas couldn’t be with anyone ‘intimately’ except for their mates, so Draco had no experience initiating or doing any of the...things people usually do with their partners. It didn’t matter though; he didn’t want to, anyway. 

Draco was  **very** attracted to Harry, but veelas reveal their wings to their mates during sex. The first consummation of their love also signifies an eternal bond between a veela and their mate. Draco couldn’t risk either of those things happening. He couldn’t risk Harry finding out about the blonde being a veela that way and he definitely didn’t want to force Harry to be by his side forever if the brunette wasn’t sure about it. He also didn’t want Harry to see the scars that ran all the way down his arms. It was a miracle that Harry hadn’t noticed his behavior yet. The blonde felt guilty, but, technically, Draco wasn’t lying to Harry. 

After their first fight, Harry sent a very long letter to Draco apologizing for breaking his trust and  **begging** the blonde to see a healer. Draco had sent a letter back forgiving Harry. All the blonde had said was that Harry wouldn’t  **see** Draco in pain again. If the brunette had just assumed that the blonde had somehow been cured, then that was on him for not asking.

By the time their one-month anniversary rolled around, Draco was struggling just to remain awake. His veela side kept him up all night long with its painful tactics. During these times, the blonde could only fantasize about the sweet release of death and when it would finally claim him. All the blonde’s hopes of calming his creature self down were as good as gone. He still had no idea why the veela was doing this, why it had started when it did, and what could get it to stop. Draco and Emmyl had gone through every single book in the manor that could’ve helped them figure out what was wrong with the blonde. None of them did. His best guess was that the veela was still heartbroken and taking it out on him. That didn’t make any sense, though. He and the veela were supposed to be one. He no longer felt the deep emptiness that accompanied his heartbreak or worried about Harry and the brunette’s feelings to the point where he wanted to die. Draco felt like a normal person in a normal relationship. Only, he was being tormented by his emotionally unstable creature half. 

Draco knew he should see a healer, but he didn’t have the time. More importantly, he didn’t want to. There was no guarantee that any healer, no matter how professional, would keep the blonde’s case to himself. Anyone would get a very generous payment for providing information that could result in a headline like ‘Draco Malfoy: From Evil Deatheater to Heartbroken Veela’. After that, it wouldn’t take long for people to realize who Draco’s mate is. Harry would be put under the spotlight again and the brunette would hate it. The blonde, himself, knew Harry wasn’t so unreasonable. He knew that, if he explained the situation to the brunette, Harry would insist he see a healer, regardless of the consequences. The problem?

_ How will he react to me being a veela?  _

_ Will he accuse me of lying?  _

_ Break up with me?  _

_ He probably won’t break up with me if I tell him that it would cause my death.  _

_ But do I really want that?  _

_ Do I want him beside me even though he might not want to be?  _

_ No. Of course, I don’t.  _

The blonde was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the floo come to life. He sighed in relief. The only times he was ever happy these days was when Harry was around. Draco went to greet Harry, who was standing in front of the fireplace, looking nervous. 

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” the brunette said, rubbing the back of his neck, “You know I am pretty sure I am allergic to bumblebees, so, if we go through with this ‘picnic’, you might just kill me.” 

“I’ve seen it in a lot of movies and all the girls in the office say it’s romantic,” Draco said, giving the picnic basket to Harry and stealing a quick kiss in the process. As he pulled away, he heard the brunette murmur “I just don’t like being outside.”

Draco smiled at Harry, took his hand, and led him to a room that the blonde and Emmyl had spent hours ‘decorating’ earlier in the day. 

“I know, Harry. I’ve decided to bring the outside to us,” the blonde said cheerfully as Harry stared, wide-eyed, at their surroundings. The brunette almost dropped the picnic basket upon seeing the room.The floor was covered in artificial grass, the walls were charmed into showing a field of grass that seemed to extend forever, and the ceiling had a night sky with a lot of stars. In the middle of the room, Draco had set a small blanket where they would sit for their meals. 

Draco’s heart warmed when Harry smiled widely. It wasn’t his stupid veela side’s emotions. Somehow, he just knew that these were his genuine feelings, that he was falling in love with the brunette as Draco Malfoy, not just as the veela Draco. Deep down, though, Draco was also starting to resent Harry a little. It wasn’t anything the brunette did; it was everything that the brunette did. Every small, little thing would set the veela off on Draco, leaving the blonde feeling abused and exhausted. He knew it was irrational to blame Harry for any of this, but Draco hadn’t slept or eaten properly since their first date; he just wasn’t in the right headspace. It didn’t help that whenever the blonde got those feelings of resentment, the veela would relentlessly torture him. He didn’t ever want to let go of the brunette, but he didn’t want the veela’s torment that came along with having Harry as a partner.

“You didn’t have to do all of this,” he heard Harry say firmly as the brunette squeezed Draco’s hand. 

“Says the person who has been complaining about this picnic date for a week,” the blonde said as he led Harry to the blanket then sat the both of them down. The brunette just stared at him in awe. 

“I-I just…” he started, but then frowned a bit and looked down at his lap. Draco tilted his head in confusion and waited for Harry to finish. 

“You’re just incredible,” the brunette finally finished, looking up at Draco with a smile. What he said next caused Draco’s heart to drop. 

“Thank you for not saying anything or pressuring me all this time. I have never really done anything with anyone before. I didn’t really feel like I wanted to at all. I don’t know if that makes me weird or whatever. All the guys in our dorm ever spoke about was sex, but I never really understood what all the fuss was about...until I met you, that is.”

_ No.  _

_ No.  _

_ This is bad.  _

_ Don’t ask me for things I can’t possibly give you.  _

_ Especially when I want to so badly.  _

_ But I can’t _

“You said you wanted today to be special. I do too. I…” the brunette continued, unaware of Draco’s distress. 

_ This is it. _

_ I should tell him now.  _

_ Rip off the bandaid.  _

_ At least, then, I’ll be free.  _

_ Just say it, Draco!  _

_ Say ‘Harry, I am a veela and you’re my mate.’ _

“Harry,” Draco said firmly, cutting the brunette off. He looked deep into the brunette’s green eyes, mesmerized by them. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t risk it. He didn’t want to lose Harry. He blurted “I am saving myself for marriage,” then looked at the ground, afraid of Harry’s response. 

“Oh,” he heard the brunette say gently, “that’s okay.” 

_ NO IT’S NOT! _

_ MATE WANTS TO BOND WITH YOU.  _

_ HOW DARE YOU DENY HIM?!  _

Draco’s eyes widened. The veela wasn’t torturing him this time, probably because Harry was still there. But, it was a warning, a fatal one. He felt something dark and threatening wrapping itself around his heart, not squeezing, not doing anything really, but just waiting for him to be alone so it would slowly drain the life out of him. The creature wrapped itself around his entire body as well, not restraining him, just scaring the life out of him. The blonde understood, then, the implication behind the veela’s words and actions. His creature self interpreted this as a rejection  **from Draco’s side** . The veela was letting him know that what he had done was unforgivable. 

_ Could the veela really kill me?  _

_ No. How could it?  _

_ It’s just a being, a spirit.  _

_ It doesn’t have a body.  _

_ It can’t harm me to that extent, right?  _

The blonde didn’t have time to ponder his questions, for the veela did something that was much, much worse than that. 

“What I mean is...I  **was** saving myself for marriage. I don’t want to anymore. I want to be with you, too, Harry. Of course, I do. You’re the most wonderful person in the world. Of course, I love you too!” 

Draco gaped, in horror, after the words had left his mouth. What had just happened? How did the veela do that? Oh god, what would he say? 

_ I need to take it back! _

But Draco couldn’t take it back. He couldn’t do anything for a second. The veela had complete control over his body. It was as if he was watching things unfold from the corner. He was kissing Harry passionately. The brunette was surprised, but eventually responded eagerly. The blonde pulled the brunette on top of him, begging him to ‘make love to him tonight.’ 

_ No!  _

_ What are you doing?  _

_ Stop!  _

“Stop!” Draco screamed, pushing Harry off of him, finally regaining control of his body. He panted harshly, in shock. After a few seconds of silence, he whispered “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, Draco. I don’t mind at all. Don’t push yourself for me. I-I love you, and I can wait,” Harry said, trying to sound loving, but instead sounding awkward. The blonde could still sense the hurt and confusion from Harry’s side at the sudden changes in Draco’s decisions and tone. 

But that was all he could sense. Draco was growing very weak. The veela had gotten a sudden surge of energy and was fighting him for control. It wasn’t like the last time, though. His own soul was vanishing. The veela was making him disappear. It was killing him from the inside. It wanted to control his body alone. He didn’t know how he knew that, but he just did. He needed to tell Harry right now! The brunette needed to save himself from this wild creature. 

“Harry, I-” he started frantically before darkness took over and his veela side continued for him with a loving smile “love you, too.” 


	18. I Hate You

“Just because Hermione is moving in here, doesn’t mean you have to move out, mate,” Harry heard his best friend say for what seemed to be the millionth time as the brunette continued to pack his belongings into a magically extended backpack. He rolled his eyes and repeated what he had been saying to Ron ever since he had announced his intention to move out. 

“For the last time, I don’t feel like I am being forced out. Draco just offered and I said yes. It is as simple as that,” he said. He was lying through his teeth. He had been thinking of moving out even before he met Draco. The blonde had just given him the nudge that he needed to actually get out the courage to tell Ron about it. He was never comfortable living with Ron. Adding Hermione into the mix would sure make things a bit nicer since she was more understanding, but Harry would always feel like a third wheel. And Draco had been  **very** insistent as well. Too insistent, actually. 

The blonde constantly reminded Harry that the manor was open to the brunette if he wanted to move in. It was sweet at first, but it got annoying. Harry was especially mad about the fact that Draco cleared out half his closet space and drawers without the brunette even asking him to. It felt like the blonde was making his decisions for him and Draco **knew** that Harry couldn’t stand that kind of thing. When the blonde noticed the brunette’s irritation, though, he started apologizing profusely and crying, telling Harry that he didn’t mean to upset him and that Harry didn’t have to live with Draco if he didn’t want to. Harry had given him a quiet ‘thanks’, stayed with him until his crying spell had passed, then left. He couldn’t explode at Draco when the blonde was that upset. 

When, the next day, Draco started reminding Harry of all the ways Ron was a terrible best friend and roommate to him, though, Harry snapped. He yelled at the blonde, who only whimpered in response. They didn’t speak to each other again for three days, after which Draco had collapsed at work. After a conversation with Emmyl, Harry realized that the blonde had relapsed, that his illness was now causing him pain again. Harry felt more guilty than he ever had before and made up with the blonde, then, eventually, agreed to  **temporarily** live with him until he found another place. Draco had been ecstatic. 

It seemed that, after that initial fight, Draco only grew more insecure and emotional. Though he was a wreck, Draco still pestered Harry about a lot of other things, including the dangers of his job. Another frequent topic of conversation was why they hadn’t had sex yet. The blonde seemed very eager to jump Harry whenever they were alone, but the brunette no longer felt...confident about his decision to let Draco be his first. The past month had been an absolute hell for Harry, and the brunette planned to have a long talk with him after he moved in. He needed Draco to see a healer and would insist on joining the blonde this time so that he could understand exactly what was wrong with Draco and how to prevent future episodes. 

“But Malfoy, mate? Are you sure that’s a good idea? He gives me the creeps. He seemed to care about you at first, but now, it’s just getting scary.”

Ron’s statement snapped the brunette out of his thoughts. He sighed deeply. He couldn’t exactly say that Ron was wrong, but Draco was sick! He didn’t mean to do any of these things. He was a sweet, kind, generous person whom Harry loved with all his heart. The person that Ron was creeped out by wasn’t Harry’s Draco; it was his disease. 

“You know he is sick, Ron. Why are you being so difficult?” Harry snapped. He had gotten rather good at confrontation over the past two months, another good thing that the blonde had helped him achieve by constantly encouraging him. 

The red-head wasn’t surprised by the brunette’s outburst and just huffed. 

“What happened to ‘Ron, I am pretty sure he is faking. I am going to report him.’ Wasn’t that your plan, Harry?!” 

“That was two months ago! And - and I was wrong about it, alright? Just drop it.” 

The two best friends glared at each other for a few seconds before Ron blinked, scoffed, and stomped out of the room. Harry just shook his head and returned to packing his belongings. It was then that he saw it: his parents’ letter about the bank account. His eyes watered at the memory, but he quickly blinked the tears away. He didn’t want to be stuck in the past anymore. He wanted this done with once and for all. He’d pay off his debt and close the account for good. 

Swallowing a lump in his throat, Harry dialed the bank’s number and waited for an agent to pick up. 

* * *

Draco was twirling around  **their** bedroom with a bunch of rose petals in his hands. He would stop every few seconds to throw some on the floor and the bed as well. This was the day. His mate would finally join him and they would stay together forever and ever and ever! The blonde couldn’t help the permanent smile on his face. He was just so happy! Harry was his everything and, tonight Draco would convince the brunette to make love to him. He and his mate would bond for eternity; it was his dream come true. 

At the sound of the floo coming to life, Draco beamed, threw the rest of the petals on the bed and hurriedly lit all the candles he had placed on the floor earlier, carefully using levitation charms to have them all float in the air around the room. 

_ Harry will be so happy with me for doing all this!  _

The blonde’s smile was instantly replaced with a frown when Harry stomped into the room, looking livid. 

“What’s wrong Harry? Did someone upset you?” Draco asked, crossing the distance between them in a split-second and looking into his mate’s beautiful, but furious, green eyes. 

“Yes! Someone upset me! Someone went behind my back and made decisions for me and treated me like a child who can’t handle his own affairs, and that person knew how much I hate it when people do that! Does that sound familiar, Draco?!” Harry shouted at the top of his lungs. The blonde immediately recoiled, whimpering. He took a step back and burst into tears. 

_ I SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE THAT.  _

_ WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! _

_ WHY DIDN’T I ASK HIM?! _

_ STUPID VEELA!  _

_ HORRIBLE VEELA!  _

_ MATE WILL FORGIVE ME!  _

“I-I am so sorry, Harry. M’sorry. I didn’t think. I w-was just so t-terrified of you being out in the f-field. I’d d-die if something happens to you. That’s the o-only reason I s-sent that l-letter. P-please, forgive m-”

“What are you talking about? What letter?” Harry asked even more loudly. Draco’s eyes widened. What was the brunette talking about, then? Had Draco done something else to upset his mate? Harry ruthlessly continued, grabbing Draco’s arm and shaking him, “Answer me!”

“T-to R-Robards, telling h-him n-not to send you o-on any more field missions because y-you’re injured.” 

Harry instantly took his hands off Draco’s arms and walked backwards towards the door, his eyes widening. 

“Y-you’re insane! What in Merlin’s name gave you the right to do that? You don’t control me, Draco! What the hell were you thinking? THIS was why I have been stuck by your side in the office even though you were driving me crazy?” Harry whispered coldly, then chuckled bitterly and added, “I hate you. I can’t believe you did this to me. I thought- We’re through, Draco. I never want to see you again.”


	19. Just Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Suicide attempt and blood.

Draco didn’t know what happened to Harry after that. He wasn’t aware of anything but the agony that he was in. He dropped to his knees and screamed so loudly, he thought he felt the entire house shake. His wings burst out his back, ripping his shirt apart. The feathers fell, one by one, to the ground, and his most precious possession, the one that was supposed to attract his mate, disintegrated into nothing, leaving two long, deep cuts on his shoulder blades, bleeding at a frightening rate. He didn’t care, though. He didn’t care about anything anymore.

His mate hated him. His mate didn’t want him anymore. His mate was never going to forgive him. His mate said he never wanted to see him again. All because of something  **he** had done. He was a sorry excuse for a veela, doing nothing but causing his mate pain. He didn’t deserve to live! He never should’ve been born! He should’ve stayed heartbroken. Harry was right to reject him. He was a disgrace to his kind. He was nothing. No. He was less than nothing. He was a rejected veela. 

The blonde cried and screamed for a while. He was too exhausted to get up and find any means of ending his pathetic, miserable, useless life. Then, it hit him. 

_ The talons... _

Just before they could disintegrate as well, the blonde mustered up all the strength he had left and willed his body to obey him just one last time. Thankfully, it did, and he had his most needed weapon right at his disposal. He placed each talon at the inner elbow of either arm, pressed down, and pulled. 

* * *

Harry was on the floor in the halls of the Malfoy Manor, huddled in a ball, crying his eyes out. He didn’t even know why. He had felt a twinge in his heart when he said those words to Draco, but he didn’t apologize. He was very angry at the blonde. How could Draco do that to him? After everything? 

When he took a few steps away from Draco’s bedroom, he held a shrill and very loud scream. He dropped to his floor on his hands and knees, feeling an unbearable amount of pain. What was wrong with him? Where did that scream come from? No human being could produce that kind of sound. 

A few minutes passed and the screaming continued, so the brunette dropped to the ground and pressed his palms against his ears tightly, not knowing how else to block out the noise. It wasn’t only noise, though. Harry somehow recognized the sound, though he was sure he had never heard it before. It was a cry of dismay, one that was made by someone close to Harry. He had hurt them deeply. He didn’t have much time to make it right again. The brunette started to cry, feeling every bit as much pain as this mystery being does and not understanding it one bit. He carefully lifted his face off the floor when the screaming stopped and ignored his pounding headache, leaning on the wall for support and opening the door he had just slammed. His heart dropped when he saw what was inside. 

**_No._ **

**_No._ **

**_No._ **

**_NO!_ **

This was a nightmare. It wasn’t real. He was only gone for a few seconds. Draco couldn’t have...But, after Harry blinked twice, he saw the same scene. Draco was lying on the back on the ground, motionless, his eyes were closed, and there was a pool of blood forming around him, flowing constantly down his wrists. 

“NO!” Harry screamed and ran to his lover, cradling him. Draco was completely limp in his hold, the blonde’s head dangling as Harry lifted him off the floor and apparated through the wards of Malfoy Manor and into St. Mungo’s. He didn’t register the nurses screaming, or the doctors attempting to yank Draco away from him. He held on tighter for a second, convinced that he would never see Draco again if he let him go. Then, the situation caught up to him and he loosened his grip, letting the healers take Draco away. He barely heard them call his name and ask if he was injured before Harry collapsed on the floor of the hospital, praying he would find Draco alive when he woke up. 


	20. Terminal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This is a very sad chapter. 
> 
> I know the tags say 'angst with a happy ending'. This isn't the end of the story, only the end of the first part. I've turned it into a series and, fair warning, the second part won't be published anytime soon. Thank you all for sticking with the story so far. I hope you enjoyed the first part!

"It's like this, Mr. Potter. The veela side is almost dormant when rejected. I say 'almost' because it depends on the context. If the rejection occurs explicitly after the person becomes of age, the veela side quickly drains their human side’s attributes until both sides wither away and die, by starvation, suicide, and what have you,” the doctor said quickly, not pausing to let Harry get even one word in. He didn’t appear to notice the pure agony he was causing the brunette sitting across from him and continued to explain the situation. 

"But, in your case, the rejection occurred before the veela was even completely developed, which made it weak, made it impossible for the veela to drain Mr. Malfoy's entire life essence. It only drained at the only thing that the veela can truly reach in its weak state: his soul. So, with every subsequent rejection in any explicit or implicit form, the veela drained a bit more of his soul, until he turned 15, the age at which the healer from Wizarding court wrongfully presumed that Mr. Malfoy had become a diagnosed sociopath, unable to truly feel or understand human emotions or morale."

"After you started a relationship with Mr. Malfoy, the veela started to develop, feeding off its mate’s love, if you will, and continuing to drain Mr. Malfoy with every implicit rejection they encountered. After your declaration of love, the veela had enough strength to ‘come back to life’. It, once again, merged with Mr. Malfoy, but he didn’t regain the parts of his human soul that he lost during and before said transformation, so, now, he is only able to feel through the veela and the only thing the veela cares about is pleasing you. Alas, for Mr. Malfoy, nothing else in the world is worth his time. If he doesn't have you, his life is not worth living. Before, the veela side kept punishing him for not acquiring the love of his mate when he had the chance, which is the main cause for the self-harm, but, now, they are one, and he is punishing himself for you not loving him."

"B-but I do love him!" Harry wailed. The healer was saying too much too fast. He didn't understand it, any of it. He just needed Draco to be alright! He didn’t care about this veela business. He barely understood what it was when the nurses explained it to him. A week ago, Draco had slit his own wrists! Why wasn’t the healer explaining what had caused **that** ?!

The healer shook his head, then slowed down a bit while continuing. 

"He won't see it that way. The veela has grown with the notion that their mate despises them. They will take every small reaction, every word, everything you do into consideration and if they feel that you are not pleased with them, they will resort to harming themselves as punishment. What you saw last week was a reaction to an explicit rejection. Your constant reassurance is the only thing keeping him going at this time, Mr. Potter, along with the mind-numbing potions we’ve given him, which will make it difficult for him to recall the memory of your rejection. He is now too weak, though. Though he cannot remember the rejection, he can still sense it and remember the feeling of it. If you are away from him for more than a few minutes, or angry or upset at him for even a second, he will assume you are rejecting him. It’s a complicated matter, but, to put it in the simplest way possible: Draco Malfoy is a terminal case. I am sorry, Mr. Potter." 

The healer passed Draco's file to Harry, whose hands were too shaky to hold onto it. The file fell into Harry's lap unceremoniously as the brunette gaped at the healer, then slowly turned his gaze through the tiny window of the office’s door, looking into the waiting room. His Draco was still huddled under a blanket, at the far corner of the couch, shrinking in on himself and gazing at the door, presumably waiting for his mate to come back to him. He looked so precious, so small, so vulnerable. Harry couldn't let anything happen to Draco. He loved the blonde more than words could describe and couldn’t help but blame himself for everything that had occurred. 

"Th-there has to be something," he whispered harshly, staring down at the file with the terminal stamp over it. He shook his head. This wouldn't happen. Draco wouldn't die. "Th-there has to be a way to stop the veela from killing my Draco! It-it loves me, right? Would do anything for me? What if I just ask it? Won't it stop?!" 

The healer gave Harry a sad look. 

"It is easy for  **us** to distinguish the veela and your partner, Mr. Potter. It makes explanations such as this one easy to grasp. But, in truth, they are one and the same. The veela punishes itself and the veela is Draco, so it is also punishing Draco  **and** Draco is punishing himself. It's not a conscious process. If you discuss it with him, I am sure he will have no idea what you're speaking of and will only blame himself for upsetting you, even though he won’t understand what he did. Mr. Potter, this has been years in the making. A rejection at age 11 is not something any veela can bounce back from. Had Draco gone to a proper specialist, he would've known he was doomed regardless of whether you took back your rejection or not. His veela side will blame him and itself for that initial rejection forever, and it's only becoming stronger at the reassurance of its mate." 

Suddenly a loud banging sounded through the room and Harry jumped in his chair. He looked at the source. His Draco was knocking on the door furiously, his eyes wild. He sensed Harry's distress and was now looking to comfort him, to be beside him, like he had been doing for the past week. Their emotions had somehow gotten connected after Draco’s attempt; they could sense either other’s feelings, not that this helped Harry get rid of Draco’s negative ones. Harry let him in and scooped him up, sitting back down in front of the healer as Draco snuggled into his chest, fisting his shirt tightly, and sending a feeling of calmness his way. Harry relaxed, but only a little bit, before he remembered what had been happening. 

"Hey, Draco, do you mind if I cast a mufilato over you? The doctor and I have something important to discuss,” he asked the blonde softly. 

Draco raised his head, then turned it in the healer's direction, glaring furiously at the man. 

"You're hurting him!" he growled, "You're hurting my mate! Stop saying whatever you're saying. My Harry is getting upset." 

"Draco, please," Harry cried out. The blonde nodded quickly, not wanting his mate to be so upset, then ducked his head back into Harry's chest and continued to emit stronger calm emotions. 

Harry cast the spell and gestured for the healer to continue. 

"Harry," the healer said in a much softer tone, "I think we can both agree that his human soul is close to non-existent and that the veela’s emotions are self-destructive. You don't even know what will set him off at this point. Him not being able to calm you down properly just now is one thing. He's probably already planning to punish himself later for being inadequate. You can't take care of him like this. I am surprised you haven't brought him sooner." 

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes tightly as tears escaped and ran down both his cheeks. Draco turned frantic in a second and used both his hands to wipe away at Harry's tears, his bottom lip quivering. When the tears didn't stop, the blonde panicked and started violently clawing at his own arms, unable to do any real damage without being able to let out his talons, courtesy of another potion the healer had given him. Harry quickly took both of Draco's hands in his hand and used his other to cradle his head and run his fingers through his hair. 

"H-how does he not see how much this is killing me? D-does he not think that I c-care when he h-hurts himself like th-this?!" 

"I know this is difficult, but the best option right now would be to institutionalize him. He can't harm himself if-" 

"Doc, please!" he sobbed out, then gestured towards the small blonde, "How can you look at him and not want to do everything in your power to help him?" 

The healer risked a glance at the veela and his eyes softened and turned sad at the same time. He pressed his lips into a thin line and shook his head for a moment, then sighed heavily and cast a silencing spell around the room. 

"H-how long has he been like this, Harry?" the healer said, then cleared his throat, suddenly very emotional. 

"He-he started - I don't know, changing? About a month ago. He wasn't always like this. He was somewhat normal for a few weeks before that. He told me that his emotional side had been suppressed, but came back. I thought he was like this because he was becoming ill again," the brunette murmured, "When he started hurting himself and losing weight, I didn't catch on right away, then, before I could ask him to see a healer, I... Fuck. This is my fault. I should've forced my hand. I-I should've - " 

"it wouldn't have made a bit of difference, Harry. This is sadly the fate of any Heartbreak case," the healer started, then sighed and added slowly "But there is a way that you could potentially perhaps keep a part of him alive." 

Harry's head shot up at that. He asked, "What do you mean ‘a part’?" 

"The human soul, what remains of it, at least, could be salvaged if the veela is dead and cannot drain the body." 

Harry tightened his hold on Draco considerably, his eyes wide. 

"Y-you want me to reject him? He'd die!"

"No, Harry. I don't want you to reject him. That would only lead to him dying alongside the body that harbors his human soul. They would both be gone. What I am suggesting is a bit more unethical so to speak. It pains me to say it, but if you want to keep him alive, you have to destroy the veela, kill it separately so to speak. Reject the bits and pieces that the veela, himself, has offered you, such as food, nests, comfort, anything that is purely veela. It cannot blame the human side directly. It will shrivel until it becomes dormant and, after 4 months or so, it will die and what's left of Draco could live a long life."

Harry looked down on the blonde. Draco looked dead already. His eyes were dull and full of unshed tears, he was miserable and hating himself. How could Harry do that to him? Harry loved Draco, all of him. The veela and the human, no matter how crazy they both were. They both made him up and Draco had become everything to Harry. Could he really hurt him to that extent?  **He** was the one who caused the veela to become ‘unstable’ and the human to become ‘unemotional’ as the doctor stated. Draco’s creature side loved him so dearly and it wasn’t doing any of this on purpose. How could Harry tear him apart like that? 

"W-what parts would remain? Would he go back to being a sociopath?" Harry asked breathlessly. "Would he still be able to love himself? W-would he still love me?"

"I am afraid the human parts that the veela has absorbed will be gone along with the veela. He may even simply be unrecognizable to you. I am sorry, Harry. I wish there was more I could do. If you want me to run tests to see what will remain should we take this route, I will do so, but other than that, my hands are completely tied."

"I-I-I'll let you know," Harry whispered and absent-mindedly took the file, lifted Draco up, and left the St. Mungos all together, determined to find another way to help his Draco, whatever the cost may be.


End file.
